Austin to Africa, Brasil to the Bay

Rainy Skies Ahead

2012-01-18T12:01:00.001-08:00

My mom always told me these are called mackerel clouds, that when the sky is full of dots and cottony, spotted patterns it means a storm is coming.

These photos are from several months ago, but I am posting them now in hopes that it will rain. Usually our rainy season starts in late October/early November and goes strong through March. Then we have a dry period for the rest of the year. It's no mid-January and we've not yet had any real rain this winter.

That looks like it may change, however, as the forecast is full of wet days starting tomorrow. I really, really hope this happens. For as much as I dislike cold, damp, dreary days it's making me depressed *not* to have them because there is no ignoring the strange changes in climate and what this means for our future.

Metalsmithing Changed My Life

2012-01-17T10:07:00.000-08:00

I feel like most of the posts I'm inspired to write these days revolve around either how metalsmithing changed my life, or how a devotion to exercise changed my life. Ha!

For my first three semesters at CCA I did nearly all my work from the studio at school. We are lucky to have an incredibly nice, well-equipped, organized, functional studio, plus working there alongside my peers was motivating and fun. The only problem was that thanks to our brutal workload, I was spending an awful lot of time away from home. Also, any time I wanted to be in studio I had to go to school, which means dealing with the terrible traffic on I-80. It also meant that it was hard to capitalize on those in-the-moment bursts of inspiration where I would give anything to get my hands on a jeweler's saw and a blowtorch. Without a proper studio space at home, those moments would come and go, hopefully registered with a sketch for follow-up at some future date.

At the beginning of 2011, I decided to start setting up a home studio. I bought a jeweler's bench and began investing in tools so that I'd have the essentials to be able to work from Casa Cali. Rico and I went to Ohmega Salvage and improvised a soldering station: a pine table meant for the kitchen (it has a wine rack at the base) that we topped with a giant slab of black marble. The only catch was that I'd have to solder outside, as there is no way to get proper ventilation in the room I use as a workspace without tearing up a wall and spending a couple thousand dollars on a proper vent system. So the soldering station lives on our covered porch, and as long as it's daylight and the weather's warm it's fine. Otherwise I just have to bundle up and move a lamp from our living room outside so that I have a bit of light. I use an acetylene-air torch and it works like a dream.

The ability to do studio work from home, especially being able to solder, really improved my quality of life. I was able to spend more time with Rico and at home in general, avoided a lot of traffic, and better managed the problem of having to drive home from school at 3am after having done an exhausting 12-hour work session in order to finish a project.

If needed, I could keep working with my current home-office-studio arrangement until I was out of school. It's manageable, and a better option than before for sure, but I've already outgrown it. I simply need more space. What I call "my room" in our house serves at least three purposes. It's where I have all my clothes and shoes and accessories, where I get ready in the morning and transition into relax time in the evening. It's the room where I have all the random things I've carried around for the past 20 years, the precious collection of stuff that's made it through Albuquerque, Maringá, Rio de Janeiro, Austin, Chimoio and Maputo, not to mention a series of storage units.

I feel like in general I am waging a war against clutter. I'm constantly revising what I own, pushing things that I no longer use, or want, or have room for, find new homes where they will be better appreciated and used. I am always striving toward minimalism, because that's when I believe I'm at my most creative (and happy?). But there are definitely things I don't want to part with, at least not yet, and those things - the extensive rock collection I started as a child, bagfuls of Anasazi pot shards collected from New Mexico over two decades, my really big and cool stamp collection (started when I was in elementary school), my seashell collection, all of my journals (which take up an entire shelf), my bag of antique scarves, a handful of good costume ingredients, textiles collected while traveling - those random things are what inhabit "my room" together with my clothes. And a huge office desk for my computer, design work and to store office supplies. And of course this is the space where I make my jewelry and do my art. My childhood double-door armoire now holds tools - a dapping punch set, a circle cutter, a tumbler, assorted gloves and respirators, sandpaper, paints, shipping supplies. Not to mention the jeweler's bench, with a flexshaft, which is a bit of a footprint for sure.

In all honesty, "my room" is just about perfect. I could live in here for the rest of my life and be happy. But the space needs to have a priority defined. Is it primarily a studio, with appropriate measures for work to be made (e.g. ventilation system, fire-resistant flooring, a blowtorch inside the house)? Or is it a living space with some limited studio potential incorporated therewith? Trying to make it both has been a good experience, but I'm aware that the room takes away from my focus and potential on a regular basis because of the insane propensity toward clutter. I try to be as organized as possible (this is likely why I am OBSESSED with organizing - you have to be really good when you are dealing with a small-ish space that needs to have multiple functions) but still there is stuff all over the place all the time. It drives me crazy.

I work so much better in a sparse space. Not that the room can't have furniture and all that other wonderful stuff, but that I need a workspace, that is the actual desk at which I'm doing my work, that is as clean and minimal as possible. There is something about having an uncluttered work desk or jeweler's bench that is magic. It's like my mind finally rests and can then be open to intense focus and inspiration.

I am in the process of moving to a new, better studio space. It is in the ground floor of my mom's new house, a few minutes away from Casa Cali. It used to be a carpenter's studio so it "feels" like a workspace, and there is a nice sunny deck outside. It is big and industrial-ish, although inside a lovely house. I can make it a real work space, incorporating a small seating area with displays where I can receive people and meet with clients and friends. But primarily it will be a studio and work-making space. I am investing in shelving that is more appropriate to my needs (what a beautiful moment when you understand what storage and organization solutions will create efficiency in your life). There will be rubber coin grip flooring and a soldering area indoors, with ventilation, and space for anvils or tree stumps or whatever else I need but don't want to put in "my room" in Casa Cali.

School starts today and I am firmly in limbo between my current space, the new studio (it still needs to be painted, have flooring installed, etc.) and the studio at CCA. A lot of my stuff is in boxes. Organized, labeled ones for sure, but not in the most convenient arrangement for me to actually use them. I still need to box up a lot of things and empty out my desks, but I think I can get everything totally packed in a matter of 3 or 4 hours. Then I will need to make the studio useable at my mom's house. That will take a while, at least a week or three I think, under the best circumstances.

Basically I am doing a mind-shift and focusing on using the studio at school right now. I will keep the soldering station set up so that in a pinch I can do most things from home. But I like having my focus on one main physical work area, it really helps me be productive. And I definitely don't like being split over several different workspaces. It is inefficient and tiring, but feasible if necessary. I just want to get everything organized, now, right away in the new studio. But school starts today, so clearly that won't happen, at least I won't plan for it.

If metalsmithing has taught me anything, it's that things take at least four times longer than you estimate in order to really do them properly, and it's always worth doing them properly the first time. Taking the time to get it right at the beginning sets you on a much better path forward. I used to live a life that relied heavily on shortcuts. I knew that what I could pull together at the last minute was usually good enough, and certainly much better than average. I could get the good grades, turn in the stellar project, give an impressive presentation without *that* much preparation and effort.

But I was also always aware, in this seemingly consequence-less land of procrastination, that I only rarely got a glimpse of my full potential. Every once in a while I'd really invest in a project or a piece of writing. Through multiple drafts, revisions, adjustments, reworks, edits...through time, really. Only then would I realize there was a different level I could be on. Not just good enough to impress the rest of the world, but good enough to impress myself.

With metalsmithing I'm not saying that I'm producing the most amazing work ever, or that I'm a superior maker. In fact I'm squarely an apprentice, aware how much there is still to learn and refine in terms of skill and design. However thanks to my new views on putting in the time and getting it right the first time, the work I have been producing is all heavily laden with my time and effort and often tears. I cry a lot about school and my work. I think a lot of the people in the program do. I wonder if this ever goes away as you become more seasoned.

Anyhow, there is an incredible amount of emotional and physical energy in each piece, even the ones that are just little one-week projects. I've never worked so hard on so many things for such an extended period. No wonder I'm always having a mini-crisis! But honestly, I can see how my work is now an a different level, even though I'm still a learner. I continually impress myself with what I'm able to create, how much work I can bear and still be happy. I would never have pushed myself this hard if it weren't for school. I wonder now if that momentum will continue to carry me through my work once I graduate and am no longer in that amazing bubble where your work is everything and everything is your work.

I would imagine that someone more experienced would say that it's a shift in perspective that will allow you to continue to push yourself beyond what you think is possible on a regular basis. That you understand at some point it wasn't the school structure or critiques or social environment or even the grades or the accountability that made you work so hard. It was something inside you, that you can always access, that pushed you to be your best. That you must arrange your life so that it fosters this inside space.

And thus all the thoughts about organization. It all comes full circle, of course. I know that clutter is one of the main ways for me to dampen the magic, so that is why I am on a never-ending quest to be as organized, efficient and systematic as possible. I often feel very old and uncool harping on about the glorious potential of organization and discipline and fitness to change your life. But really, that's what I have to share about the last few years. The conclusion is clear to me, so I will keep talking and hopefully the fact that this all comes from a very honest and humble place will keep me from being too annoying. :)

Things I Learned About Myself in 2011

2012-01-16T22:23:00.000-08:00

A slightly late, slightly incomplete recap of things I realized in 2011.

I wear a lot of pink. I never though of myself as one of those girls who is obsessed with pink, but my friends at school started pointing out all the places there is pink in my life and I had a moment of truth. My favorite cardigan is mauvey-blush. My second-favorite cardigan is fuschia. My wallet is bright pink ostrich skin from South Africa. My fingerless gloves that I wear constantly are an antiquey rose. My Moleskine agenda was orchid pink. I love to use tourmalines and rubies in my jewelry. And on, and on, and on.
My fear of parallel parking was totally rooted in not knowing how to do it properly. I never learned in driver's ed back in the day, never lived in a city where parallel parking was necessary, and when I finally had to do it on a frequent basis in Maputo there was always someone around (building guard, parking attendant, etc.) to guide me in at the right angle. Last year I finally learned how to parallel park. I still get nervous, but at least I know what to do to correct a bad start. Before I was just blindly turning the wheel and hoping for the best. I'm amazed I never did any serious damage. :)
I love to run. I am addicted to running. I will make running a priority no matter how busy I get with school. I sign up for races and wake up before sunrise to get to the start line. I run in the rain. I run when I'm tired. Running is my miracle cure-all, together with dancing, but I'd always enjoyed dancing whereas running was possibly my #1 most dreaded and despised activity as a child and for most of my adult life. But now I've seen the light, and I doubt I'll ever stop. I'm at the point now where I unabashedly refer to myself as a Runner.
The BPM dance music station on Sirius XM is a godsend. Twenty minutes in the car with it at full volume will infuse me with energy and put me in an amazing mood. I have a little dance party in the car every single day. I'm sure I look a little ridiculous, but I don't care.
I learned a lot about how to dress for my body type last year. This may seem trivial to some, but I adore figuring out what looks good on me and what styles I should avoid come hell or high water (ahem. cropped pants, anyone?). I have a super long torso and short little legs. I am also blessed in the big-ol' hips/thighs department, have a tiny waist, and broad shoulders. 2011 was the year that I discovered dolman sleeves and horizontal stripes look really flattering on me (as long as the waist of the top is fitted at my waist), as do shorts over similar-colored tights. Who'd have thought... I also came to terms with the fact that I will never, ever look good in skinny jeans no matter how skinny and fit I may be. Ditto for crops or cuffed pants. I also bit the bullet and got rid of most of my dresses and skirts that hit mid-calf because my lifestyle doesn't really involve high heels anymore and they are absolutely necessary to pull off that otherwise dowdy, stump-ifying length.
I also got rid of nearly all of my black clothes. Yes, black is classic and elegant, but it just seems too harsh for me. I wear black and feel like I'm in costume, as if I were wearing things out of someone else's wardrobe that are clearly not "me". I still wear black to work out, but somehow that's different.
2011 was a year in which I let go of a lot of obligations. Specifically I gave myself permission to sever ties with some people I didn't want to have a relationship with, be it unfriending someone on facebook, or just putting significantly less effort into the friendships/family ties that added a negative tone to my life. It felt good. I have no regrets.
I fully owned the fact that I am compulsive, hyper-organized, competitive, type A and all that jazz. I have control and trust issues. I am known to freak out if my jewelry supplies are messy or the kitchen cabinets aren't organized according to optimum functionality. I feel soothed when I write my schedule in my paper agenda. My favorite thing ever is to write in engagements and doctor's appointments and dance classes for the whole semester or even the year. I like to do my taxes (and I do them on paper!) and find the whole exercise very comforting. I spend much of my free time organizing drawers or my closet or color-coordinating labels in my sketchbook. What's really funny is that because my mom is the most organized person on the face of the earth, I spent most of my life thinking I was a messy, laid back, non-compulsive person because I had her as my example of what it meant to be the opposite. In Mozambique, I started to get a hint at my true colors when, under extreme stress in Chimoio, my default reaction would be to fold and organize my clothes and rearrange things in the pantry according to size and shape. But it took me going to art school to really understand what a compulsive, organized person I really am. :)
I'm also increasingly aware of how hard it is for me to be on vacation and relax. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love to do nothing. Few things top a lazy weekend at home with cats and trash tv and sunbathing. But something happens when I'm officially on break. It's like a switch flips and I become a basket case. Having all that free time freaks me out. I don't know what to do with myself, yet I become hyper-aware of all the pending items on my to-do list, of my unmet goals, of the 1,001 things I should or could be doing. I never feel productive enough, yet often am so tired and in desperate need of a break that I can't bring myself to get things done. I think I've become used to the crazy rhythm of school. Life seems normal and I am happy when I have too much on my plate, it seems. Something about the constant get-up-and-go is better than the inertia that results when I step off the wild ride. Go figure...
2011 was a tough year in that I've never worked so hard, but things are starting to come together. What makes it possible is that I have an amazing support base. Rico is, in a word, amazing. I often joke that I hit the husband lottery. My core family is loving and encouraging and kind. The cats are fat and happy. I have good friends. I am in better shape than I've ever been in my entire life. I feel determined, aware of what I want to accomplish going forward, content to work myself to near exhaustion during this period of apprenticeship.

Cats, Champagne, Family, and Friends

2012-01-08T19:17:00.000-08:00

In a nutshell, these are my wishes for 2012. May it be a year full of loved ones, furry ones, and fun times.

Oh, and I resolve to run a half marathon. :) May the running trend continue strong.

Casa Cali View, Summer's Day and Winter's Night, 2011

2011-12-20T14:46:00.000-08:00

Mantras for the Semester

2011-12-16T05:57:00.001-08:00

"Perfect is the enemy of good (enough)."

"Rome wasn't built in a day."

There's so much to consider in building a creative business. First, obviously, you must have a well-designed, beautifully made, compelling product. Creating amazing jewelry has been the focus of most of my efforts over the past two years, as without the good pieces it makes no sense to invest in growing the business. However, I'm at a point where my business side needs to make a leap forward. Not the numbers and accounting, although that could use some attention too. Rather I'm talking packaging, website content and layout, product tags, letterhead, logo, business cards, etc. Essentially the whole branding and marketing effort that will really send a professional, polished image to back up my jewelry.

It's so frustrating sometimes because there are so many details and I can't always tackle them all. Sometimes my packaging is not ideal to the shape of a piece, or a label is hand-written instead of stamped, or my website still carries my old logo and branding because I wasn't able to make the change to the new site in time for the holidays. There's just so much to think about and be on top of...

That's when I try to remind myself of the two sayings at the top of this post. Something is better than nothing, always. Baby steps to your goal. Or as they would say in Mozambique, "pouco-pouco."

83 Down, 2 to Go

2011-12-15T08:17:00.000-08:00

This seventeen-week semester is nearly finished. Part of me is extremely grateful for the upcoming break, which I clearly need to maintain my sanity and be ready for another stretch of craziness come January. But another part of me is sad, depressed even. I love being in school and it's so difficult to go from 1,000 miles per hour to essentially zero overnight (at least that's how it feels, even though I'm still super busy with holiday orders).

Also, my friendships have really consolidated this semester and the idea of not being around my girls leaves me feeling a bit empty (most people go back "home" for the holidays, not that many of us are locally based). I am so lucky to be in the metals program with this particular group of people. It took me nearly two years to feel like I've made friends, but now that I have, I can't imagine school without them. We support each other through crises, work out together on a regular basis, pull all-nighters together in studio, make runs for bubble tea (my new favorite studio snack). My friends are a big part of what motivates me throughout the semester, and I will seriously miss them over the next month.

I'm trying to avoid the serious blues this break, however. Strategies include throwing a "come over and do nothing" relax party on Saturday, running regularly with H., enjoying time with family, mini trips to Tahoe and Napa, and staying busy with a couple of jewelry commissions. I'm also itching to troll the local flea markets and salvage yards for storage cabinets, old tools, display cases, and whatever else catches my eye for the studio. Keeping busy is the ticket, for sure.

Light in Sight

2011-12-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

One more jewelry project, my chromophobia final, and a paper on a Tibetan Buddhist manuscript are between me and a much-needed break. I'm really burned out (and consequently not thaaaaat stressed) and it's been hard to get motivated to turn out these last projects. I'm close, though, and knowing that gives me an extra boost.

This semester I've prioritized exercise equally with my schoolwork. I don't regret it one bit. I *do* have time to keep working out, and it's not like I have to shuffle my schedule to do it. Honestly I waste a ton of time in my day-to-day, and that hour-and-a-half it takes to start and finish a workout are imperceptibly sucked by internet, chatting, spacing out, doing non-priority chores, etc. When I do exercise, I get the feeling my time is more precious (i.e. I've spent it consciously) and therefore I'm more productive, more efficient, and better at prioritizing the things on my to-do list. Win, win really. I stay fit and manage my stress, and am also faster and more focused at my work.

So why is this so hard to remember *before* a workout, when I will make 1,001 excuses as to why I should stay in studio or simply watch some trash on tv?

Anyhow, I've been much better about the workouts this semester and I feel good. Tonight, for example, I'm going to dance at Hipline for an hour. In semesters past, I'd have cancelled this refundable class in a heartbeat. Not now, though. It will be the highlight of my day.

The Traveler Necklaces

2011-11-30T10:21:00.000-08:00

Each necklace in the 15-piece Traveler series has the name of a different city worldwide that inspired the color palette. Adding to the traveler vibe, the trade beads used in the design are hundreds of years old and have crossed the globe several times over, starting in Venice or Bohemia where they were made, carried to Africa by the Portuguese, washed up on the shores of Ilha de Moçambique after shipwrecks, and finally brought here to San Francisco in my luggage.

Where will their next stop be?

(The Helsinki Traveler Necklace and the other Travelers are available at www.alexandraamaro.com)

Apprenticeship

2011-11-28T19:00:00.000-08:00

There is a really difficult mind-space for people that hold themselves to high standards when, while learning a new trade or skill, they realize what the best work looks like (i.e. what they desire to make/do) but are unable to perform at that level yet. Often the gap is because these people are still learners, operating in an area where true mastery requires years and years of experience. For some reason, though, it is hard to accept that apprenticeship equals failure on an intrinsic level, that if we don't make bad work there is no way to learn how to make good work.

I know this. I can even write about this. But it is SO HARD to embody it, to release the pressure I self-impose to knock it out of the park with every project that comes along. I want all of my work to be amazing, not necessarily for the praise of others (although this is definitely nice, however another minefield in and of itself) but because I am used to being at the top of whatever I'm doing. I know I'm capable of doing impeccable work, and it's hard to accept that it's okay if I can't right now, for whatever reason, in whatever capacity.

I think people doing jewelry or metalsmithing at a high level are particularly prone to this issue. Our field is all about perfection, precision, doing it right the first time because often that's the only option lest you go back to square one with a particular piece. Our eyes are meticulous. We see all of the flaws. Making can be maddening. We get so invested in our work, put in so many hours... It becomes especially hard to look at a piece after blood and sweat and tears (literally. really. i cry nearly every week and can't feel the tips of my fingers) when you know certain things should have been done differently and/or better.

I need to remember - I think all of us in the progam could stand to remember - that other people don't see jewelry through the same discriminating eyes as we do. Other people see the beauty, the creativity, the materials. Not that this is license to do shoddy work, but to remember on those pre-critique mornings that someone out there will think this is the best. piece. ever. made.

A Good Feeling

2011-11-21T18:16:00.000-08:00

In some ways I feel like this song is getting me through the semester. Just when I'm feeling really down, I'll hear this somewhere. In my car at full volume is the best, but Hipline's shimmy pop class is a close second (Hipline is this amazing dance studio in Berkeley that I've been going to with some of the jewelry girls from school. They have glow sticks and a disco ball during the last class on Thursdays, not to mention super dim lighting (the best idea e.v.e.r. for club-style dance classes that happen in a gym space during daylight hours.))

So Flo Rida's song literally helped me turn around a tearful crisis in the making last week. I was so stressed from my production jewelry class (I'm was working on the 5-alike pendants) that I could tell I was going to cry during critique. Not that my pieces had failed or anything, it had just been an extraordinarily long, hard road and I was at my limit. On my way to school the tears started to fall and then the song came on. It was like magic.

I wonder what my song for next semester will be (they seem to only be magic for a few months at a time).

For now, at least, it seems I know my winter break song. My friend Jimmy shared this with me the other day and I am obsessed.

For the record, summer's song was:

Spring semester's song was:

Carla Makes Jewelry in Maputo

2011-11-17T09:37:00.001-08:00

I am so proud of my first jewelry student, Carla, who continues to make beautiful designs with wire and semi-precious stones in Maputo. I fondly remember our one-on-one jewelry lessons, starting with the very basics of how to make a wire loop and progressing through pricing and selling one's work.

Here is a gallery of her work. If you're in Moz and are interested in Carla's work, please look her up! She sometimes participates in events like the International School-sponsored holiday fairs, so perhaps you've already seen her jewelry somewhere.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/quimera_designs/

Five Identical Madness

2011-11-14T17:56:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in a previous post, I believe, that I am working on a project for my Production Jewelry class where we have to make five identical pieces. We are allowed to vary one or two design details, and we must incorporate a "foreign" object, e.g. a stone, a found object, a commercial clasp, etc. Each one of my pendants will have a different color scheme/assortment of gemstones and a different patina on the silver.

Here is a (poor quality) photo of one of the pieces I am making. I'm really excited about the design, but the process and the deadline have my stomach flipping and my shoulders in knots thanks to record levels of stress. I don't even want to catalog all of the bumps along the road, but suffice to say I'm past-due with the project and have another marathon night (at minimum) ahead of me. I've been working SO HARD for the last two weeks. It's somewhat disheartening to work at 110% effort and realize that it's not quite enough.

Cue the lesson in perfectionism and remembering why I'm really in school (it's not for the grades, but I admit it's hard to let go of that, too).

I think I'll feel better once I get the rest of my stone setting finished. I have two pendants to go, and the road ahead seems never-ending...

Your Responses = My Next Jewelry Project

2011-11-11T12:40:00.000-08:00

Hello friends,

For our next project at school we have to interview people and then design a piece of jewelry or a sculpture based on the responses.

The question is: If you could change one thing about your personality, what would it be?

Feel free to answer in the comments. Thanks in advance for your help!

After Earthquakes

2011-11-07T18:43:00.000-08:00

We've had a series of moderate earthquakes here in the Bay Area lately. Nothing big, really, especially for people who are from quake territory, but big enough to frighten me for sure. Part of the issue is that most of the recent earthquakes have been centered just a mile or two from school, so the shaking feels especially strong.

It's terrifying during the shaking, but the disorientation and feeling of "seasickness" that I get afterwards is nearly as bad. It's similar to the feeling you get after a day spent boating, when you step back on dry land but still feel as if you're on the waves. I can feel false quakes for days after the real thing, and the fact that there really *are* aftershocks makes it even worse. I often don't know whether my mind and body are playing tricks on me, or if its honest-to-god shaking. Sometimes I have to look around the room at other people's faces to determine if something is happening or not.

This quake-sick feeling is so bizarre, by far the closest I've ever come to wondering if I'm going a little crazy. I decided to try and capture it in a panting for my Chromophobia class, as we're putting on an exposition this week about phobias. The title of the show is "Horror vacui", which means fear of empty space (and is just a very cool-sounding phrase). I wanted the painting to be really busy and visually disorienting to look at.

The end look is definitely different from what I'd originally envisioned, but I am okay with letting the process dictate the result. Here's a bit of the evolution. I think I'm one layer away from being finished, maybe two.

("Seismic", acrylic on canvas, 36x36")

(sorry for the poor image quality. I'm content remembering to take *any* process photos of my art these days.)

Silicone Molds, Gemstones and Running

2011-11-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

Otherwise known as what's on my mind these days.

For my production jewelry class our assignment right now is to make five identical pieces. The idea is for us to utilize molds, jigs and other clever tools and strategies to make our work more efficient.

Although I like production jewelry and plan to do limited production lines once I'm out of school, it's hard to think in production terms. We are so schooled to make elaborate, conceptual, insanely labor-intensive, one-of-a-kind pieces that it's really a challenge to move away from that mindset and design jewelry that is creative and appealing, yet cost- and time-efficient and can be easily produced in multiples. At least its hard for me. :)

I am making a series of bejeweled silver pendants for the five-alike project. In order to be clever and efficient as the class requires, I'm casting the main component of the pendant. Fantastic, except I don't know how to cast. Rather, I'm learning in record speed how to cast (one week to be precise). This evening I poured my very first silicone RTV mold. Tomorrow I will cut it in two pieces and do a wax injection so that I can, on Monday, actually cast my piece. It seems complicated even though I've been told many times that casting is a simple process. It makes me anxious to have my project depend on a process I'm totally unfamiliar with, but I suppose this is good practice for uncomfortable situations I'm certain to encounter down the line.

I went for a short run this morning, which felt really good. I've not been able to run as frequently now that the semester is in session and I miss it terribly. Over the summer my friend H. and I were running five times a week. Now I'm getting in two runs per week, and it's rare for them to be over five miles. Rico and I are signed up to run another 10k on Saturday and I'm trying to align my expectations with my somewhat diminished physical abilities. I'd like to run the whole race really fast and feel fantastic, but I know I'll just have to go through at a slow and steady pace and be okay with the fact that I may just have to walk a bit.

In other news, I register for Spring 2012 classes on Monday. I'm taking Jewelry 3B (the next class in the series, one in which we do one-week projects all semester), Casting (ha, ha), Lost and Found (creating jewelry and other works that incorporate found objects), and a textiles class called Patterns and Pixels (creating patterns on the computer and then printing onto fabric).

I find registering for classes always gives me a little perk, which is especially welcome at this low-energy point of the semester. At a time when I so desperately need a break, it's funny that thinking about more school would get me excited. I guess this is a good sign, no?

Ali Lately

2011-10-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite chill-out-post-studio-madness activities is to watch Chelsea Lately. I am sort of surprised I like her program (and her!) so much, but I do. Why fight it? I've long accepted that I like trash tv, so in comparison to something like Cheaters or Coco Loves Ice, I suppose Chelsea Lately is highbrow...

Anyhow, it is the perfect thing for relaxing after a crazy week, which this one was without a doubt. I had late nights in the studio at school (3:30 and 4:00 AM), late nights at my home studio (2:30 AM) and plenty of early mornings in the mix.

I got both of my projects done, which was a good feeling. One was a 5-piece suite for Production that was loosely based on vertebrae and done in silver with gold hinge pins (I made a bracelet, long earrings, a pendant necklace, a chunky ring, and stacked thin rings) and a personal identity piece for Jewelry 3A that involved a bejeweled floral/coin piece that fits into various objects. Hard to explain in a nutshell, but I'll post on it (and the production suite) once I get it back from my professor and have a chance to take photos.

There were several earthquakes last week. Two on Thursday that were the biggest I've felt since moving here (4.2 and 3.7, I believe, but these figures may have been modified by USGS). I distinctly felt rolling/shaking, which is different from the "a huge truck just hit the building" feel of the previous earthquakes I've experienced here. I actually got under my jeweler's bench at school for the second quake on Thursday. The epicenter was a mile away in Berkeley and that thing was scary. Jangled nerves, thankfully no damage. There have been several aftershocks, and I've felt all of them. I feel anxious, like I'm anticipating and can almost feel the next one before it actually happens. I guess the best way to describe it is that I feel sort of seasick, like when you get off a boat and can still feel the swaying long after you're on firm land.

I've been trying to counter all the stress with exercise, which is my go-to stress management solution. Running, cardio dance classes, personal training, and today I tried rock climbing for the first time with some girlfriends from school. We did bouldering at a rock gym in Oakland, and I can honestly say it was better than I'd anticipated. I am somewhat afraid of heights and don't enjoy climbing, but it was good to do a new activity and get out of my comfort zone for a while.

So that's what I've been up to lately. I'm really looking forward to getting a couple of days off during Thanksgiving. I'd like to sleep a lot, hang out with Rico and the cats, and do a whole lot of nothing. :)

30

2011-10-12T20:58:00.001-07:00

I am turning thirty tomorrow.

Everyone is full of advice, ranging from how your thirties are the best years of your life, to how I should have babies soon because I'm getting old, to how I should really be using sunscreen daily because serious wrinkles are right around the corner.

I'm excited, not really feeling any of the crisis OH MY GOD I'M OLD stuff at all.

I am happily married and living in a house and community that I love. I am near family. I am in the best shape of my entire life, having become a Runner about a year ago. I am in art school perfecting my skills as a metalsmith. I'm a working jeweler. I have friends. I love our cats. I am happy and excited to be turning thirty, but not sappily idealistic about what the next decade might hold.

If anything, the one poignant lesson that I've become more aware of at this age is that we really don't have that much time. I can imagine that those of you reading this who are in your sixties are just shaking your heads, thinking Oh, she has no idea. But I do have an idea, if only a small one.

In my twenties and teenage years, I was privileged to travel a lot. I always had the feeling that those places, those people I connected with on my travels would be part of my life again. I went to Roraima and felt like it was no big deal to go back. I went to Greece and had no doubt I'd visit again. Same thing with Cuba, Zimbabwe, Vietnam, Argentina. It seemed so easy to just hop on a plane and go. Time seemed infinite, and travel was one of a select few ways to use my resources.

I was sure I'd see them again, the people that touched my heart over the years. Hannah, Lambros, Gaby, Angel, the Yamamotos, Perry. The list expanded exponentially with living in Mozambique. I felt certain I'd reconnect at some point with all of these special people. Jenny, Kelly, Zahra, Anel, Claudia, Helen, Marcos, Bruno. There are too many to name, really, and now I wonder when, realistically, we'll ever cross paths again.

Time is short, energy fleeting, resources divided amongst many worthwhile dreams and goals (not to mention practical obligations). It is challenging at best to connect face-to-face with those we love. We are lucky to visit twice the places that make our hearts skip a beat. We are envious of those who do what they truly love because we recognize the risks that often go into those decisions.

We must make choices, many choices.

I hope that I choose wisely in the decade to come.

Custom Jewelry: Cornflower Sapphire Set

2011-10-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

Here is another one of my custom jewelry designs from this summer. A client wanted me to make some jewelry for his wife's birthday. She happens to be a friend of mine, which is great because I know her style. She wears very small, minimal jewelry and is somewhat conservative in her taste. She loves the color blue and only wears white metals. These were basically my only guidelines.

Here is the set I designed, plus the original sketch. I bezel set sapphire cabochons on a sterling silver backplate that looks like a cross between a cornflower and a cog wheel. I'm happy to say everything was a hit, and my minimalist friend is using these pieces frequently.

10k

2011-10-02T16:56:00.000-07:00

We did it! Our only New Year's resolution* from 2011 can now confidently be ticked off the list. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I'd be able to run for more than an hour without stopping. Even crazier is that I love doing it.

*I had a second resolution, actually: to paint my nails more often. Doing well on that one, too. :)

Custom Tibetan Turquoise Bolo Tie

2011-09-27T08:42:00.001-07:00

A family friend had a very large nugget of Tibetan turquoise he acquired while living in Asia in the 1970's. He wanted it made into a bolo tie and asked me to put together a custom design.

This project was full of challenges. First, it's daunting to work with a precious one-of-a-kind object from a client, in particular a soft stone like turquoise that likes to crack. Second, the nugget was very irregular, making it hard to set (at least it presented a challenge for my fledgling stone-setting skills). Third, someone had already drilled two holes all the way through the stone back in the day, so that it could hang as a pendant on a cord, and I'd have to figure out what to do with those very visible, crookedly-drilled holes.

I put together a design that involved prong setting the turquoise nugget, attaching said prongs to a pierced sterling silver backplate, and putting ball rivets through the existing drilled holes so that they'd attach to the backplate. Then I attached a bolo mechanism, brown leather cord, and silver end pieces on the cord.

The client appears very satisfied, and I am too. More than anything I'm happy that I'm increasingly able to come up with a design in my head and replicate it in metal pretty faithfully.

Here's a few photos of the initial sketch and the final piece.

It's Mini-Crisis Time

2011-09-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, already. Just over two weeks into the school semester and that panicky feeling is back. My hope is that more frequent but smaller crises will have a depressurizing effect and thus avoid a whopper of an episode like I experienced last semester.

Yesterday was a frustrating day and I had a wee, mini breakdown. We're doing logo design in my Production class and I'm not happy with mine. I'm close, but just not there yet. We also received our first really big assignment - to design a suite of five related pieces - and I was feeling wholly uninspired, like I couldn't conjure up a good idea if my life depended on it.

I think a lot of this is quite normal given the nature of the program at CCA and the kind of discipline and dedication that metalsmithing requires. I also think my mindset and emotions were affected by not having eaten properly during the day, not having run since Sunday thanks to a sinus cold, and being on hour 7 of studio classes.

I went for a run today and immediately felt better. Things are once again more in perspective. I still don't have a logo design that I like, I still don't know what on earth I'll do for my five-piece collection, but I have faith that those solutions will come.

The Wheel Turns On...

2011-09-19T17:43:00.000-07:00

School is back in session, life again has taken on that roller-coaster feeling as I try to reconcile deadlines, projects and my own jewelry work with the fact that time is limited, as is my energy. I've gotten better at cutting back on activities and trying to be sure I'm not spreading myself too thin. I delete emails about art openings, community events, travel bargains, discounts at my favorite stores all because I know I can't be tempted by these fun and interesting possibilities. I can only keep up with so much.

Outside my school obligations, I am able to dedicate myself to Rico and my family, running, a limited amount of my own jewelry production, and a very occasional concert or dinner out with friends. I laughingly said to our neighbors the week before school started, "See you in December!" Except it wasn't a joke...

I actually like having to prioritize, though. I think it leads to more quality time spent with people, more focus dedicated to the activities you know are essential. And I really appreciate my leisure time, that's for sure.

The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem

2011-08-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

We All Have the Running Bug

2011-08-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

On Saturday my mom, Rico and I did our first race. It was 4 miles on a hilly trail, and we all did exceedingly well for our age divisions. We were accompanied by my friend H, who is my running buddy and in the same program at school with me, my cousin A, and his friend J. They all have done races before (including my cousin who has done the NY Marathon for Team Fox!) so not surprisingly they did really well, too.

We are training up to a 10k on October 1st and are all giddy about our running plans.

Here's a few photos from the 4 mile race. Note the gigantic smiles on everyone's faces!

Relaunch, Refresh, Recreate

2011-08-24T10:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I'm getting ready to re-launch my Alexandra Amaro jewelry website to better reflect the work I've been creating in art school. To celebrate (and to make re-listing my inventory easier), I'm offering 20% off any piece online, even those already on sale.

Use coupon code RELAUNCH at checkout, good through August 31st.

Stay tuned at www.alexandraamaro.com for the new site, coming soon!

The Sounds of Last Semester

2011-08-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

It's fair to say that music played a big role in me getting through the grueling workload of last semester at CCA. I'd listen to music while running (my number one favorite stress management technique), I'd blast the BPM station on my trial subscription of satellite radio while driving to and from the studio (coffee in hand), listen to Pandora while doing homework, and every once in a while use my iPod while working (although not often enough - I'm torn between how nice it is to listen to my own music over the din of the studio vs. needing to hear for social and safety reasons).

Now every time I listen to certain songs, I relive those long studio hours, tired nights driving on 580, and how running was still really hard.

Here's two of the highlights from the soundtrack. I highly recommend. Motivational songs, amazing women, gorgeous voices and faces, and the best male backup dancers you will ever see, guaranteed (definitely worth watching the Kelly Rowland song until the end).

Roomba Ran Over a Cat Turd

2011-08-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

Yes, sadly, that happened. The how's and why's are still unclear, and honestly I'm fine with that. The fact that we had a rogue cat turd lying around somewhere for the robot vacuum to discover is knowledge enough.

After many Q-tips, half a bottle of Lysol, and enough swearing to make our bad-ass Coast Guard neighbor blush, Roomba is clean again. Rico now has infinite credits in the gross-household-jobs bank.

And we've got our eye on those cats.

Grand Small Space

2011-08-01T15:55:00.000-07:00

I am such a sucker for a well-used small space. This outdoor area at the back of a wee historic atelier in Santa Teresa was simply brilliant. A pool, tables, a sink and counter for making cocktails and a snack, and plenty of plants - all without feeling overcrowded. I love the modern, clean look, quite unexpected in the midst of such a neoclassical, antique-y, bohemian neighborhood. Plus, who can resist a space like this with such a gorgeous view of downtown Rio?

Brazil July 2011: The Roundup

2011-07-27T11:51:00.000-07:00

Trip Highlights:

Selling the Casa Rosa. By far the most efficient turn of events possible. The house had been on the market for many months already, and Rico and I decided to go down to Rio to clear out all the furniture and the few personal belongings we had there so that, when a sale did eventually take place, the Casa Rosa would be ready to hand over. Never in our wildest dreams could we have anticipated that, not five minutes after stepping in the house the first Monday of our trip, the phone would ring and our broker would let us know that an offer had been made by an extremely serious buyer. Within 24 hours the house was off the market, and we were busy moving furniture and taking care of the initial paperwork for the sale.
I anticipated this being a really hard trip for me. It was, but only for a small moment. I'm happy to report that selling the Casa Rosa really did feel like the right thing to do. I had no remorse in letting go, my desire to cling completely dissipated. Simplification really feels good, as does recognizing and accepting when a particular chapter has run its course, as opposed to fruitless, tiring attempts to prolong it unnecessarily.
I got over one of my fashion hang-ups and actually wore Havaianas in public in Brazil. The mere thought of wearing flip-flops outside the house and/or beach used to provoke a cold sweat in my afraid-to-be-identified-as-a-foreigner person. I'm over it. When my feet are swollen and it's hot outside and I have blisters, I'll wear Havaianas and like it. Aside from going into the lobby at Citibank, I didn't even feel weird doing it!
The opportunity to catch up with most of the family and friends we wanted to see. So nice to reconnect.
Rico and I redecorated my mother-in-law's apartment. It looks amazing. We bought only a couple of pieces, relying rather on rearranging what my m-i-l already had and supplementing it with furniture, lighting, and paintings from Casa Rosa.
Rico and I celebrated our 3-year wedding anniversary. It was a treat to be in the Casa Rosa and at the church across the street, hard to believe that so much (and yet so little) time has passed. We had a photo shoot to say goodbye to the house and to celebrate our anniversary. The proofs arrived yesterday, and they look amazing.

The Lowlights:

I realized that, not only do I get slightly motion sick, I am *really* afraid of sailing at anything but a children's pace. We went sailing at Angra, which was incredible, but the winds were good and the boat was big and eventually we were at an extreme angle hauling through the water. For Rico and his family, it was paradise. For me, it was tear-inducing. Literally. I was so scared by the feeling that the boat was about to capsize, I couldn't help but cry. Not my finest moment, but everyone was very kind and understanding.
Speaking of such things, I also am increasingly scared by air travel. After years of not partaking, I am now a happy airport and in-flight drinker. And if I didn't feel like such shit after taking sleep aids or something like Valium, I'd be all over those, too.
I ate way too much fried food in Brazil. Inevitable, really. Everywhere you look there is a fried treat. Bars, highway rest stops, street fairs - hell, even breakfast - are the glorious kingdoms of bolinhos, pasteis, coxinhas and more. And if you manage to avoid the fried stuff, you will be satisfied to encounter large quantities of puff pastry, cheese and sweetened condensed milk. Not surprisingly, I put on a little weight.
To be fair, Brazilians do eat lots of healthy, fresh things. And drink lots of beer. :)

The Rose Chapter

2011-07-17T15:18:00.000-07:00

The other night I indulged in a pity party on my mother-in-law's veranda, a good half hour of hot tears and thick, wailing sobs provoked by the impending sale of the Casa Rosa. I thought about the parties I'd never throw, the atelier I'd never have, the friends I'd never make, the sense of community that would remain forever fleeting. It felt like I'd somehow failed, given up not only on my bohemian dream life in Santa Teresa, but given up on Brazil.

And then, after that good crying session, there was a shift. I was sad, yes, but it was as if a fog had lifted and I could suddenly see the bigger picture. Casa Rosa was but a chapter (and a wonderful one, without question) in a much greater story, one in which I wasn't the lone protagonist but a member of an interconnected cast. Selling the house was a collective decision for a collective good. A shared future. Family.

At the end of the day a house is just a house, no matter how spectacular the salmon pink Neoclassical columns or the crystal chandeliers or the banana grove in the winter garden. It's okay to say goodbye and move on, even if your dreams and plans involved a different ending.

I frequently remind myself that selling the Casa Rosa doesn't mean that I've lost my traveler's spirit, that I've abandoned my international lifestyle, that I've become somehow less special because I don't call Santa Teresa home. A house is not an identity, and if it has become one, priorities should be reexamined. A house is just a house, and it is a welcome feeling of lightness to move on, to simplify, to let go of attachments.

I feel satisfied, centered, at peace. It's not the address or the neighborhood or even the country that matter, it's who you are with. I am looking forward to the next chapter, full of family and friends, at home at Casa Cali or wherever else the story takes us.

Farewell to the Garden

2011-07-14T16:38:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite aspects of the Casa Rosa is the internal courtyard. The banana grove, the lion head fountain, the mini pool, the pedra portuguesa that replicates the paving pattern of Copacabana beach... Some of the features were there when we bought the house, but much of the current look is thanks to upgrades we made over the years. Perfect for a garden party. Happily we've had many a great festa in that courtyard, the crowning glory being our wedding reception. :)

The Master Packing List for Traveling Light

2011-07-14T07:08:00.000-07:00

Last year Rico and I traveled to Brazil for nearly 3 weeks with only a small carry-on suitcase each. This year, we have traveled with a bit more stuff (a lot more, really, in my case). My big, not-at-all-surprising revelation has been that I would have been just as happy with half the clothes and knick-knacks. I could have easily gone carry-on only for this trip as well, and have really learned what is essential and what is not.

In the spirit of creating the perfect minimalist packing list for our next trip (and for you to use, too) I offer the following guide. This list is geared for a destination that has a moderate climate that is somewhat unpredictable (e.g. San Francisco Bay Area in the summer, Rio de Janeiro in the winter), so the clothing choices are layering-friendly. Also, there isn't anything for really cold weather, although in my experience you could easily throw in a heavy jacket and boots and tailor things as necessary for chilly climates. This list should get you through 1-3 weeks of travel, with the occasional need for washing underwear/socks/exercise wear. Here are my suggestions:

- 1 pair black trousers

- 1 pair dark jeans

- 1 pair cargo or khaki pants

- 1 casual skirt
- 1 pair shorts
- 1 pair leggings

- 1 pair lounge pants

- 1 lightweight jacket

- 1 zip-up hoodie sweatshirt
- 1 cashmere sweater
- 3 long-sleeved tops
- 5 short-sleeved tops (some fancy, some casual)
- 5 tank tops (some fancy, some casual)
- 3 dresses (1 beachy, 1 casual, 1 fancy)

- 3 sets workout clothes (+ sports bras, socks)

- 3 pairs regular socks
- 1 bikini
- 8 pairs underwear/3 bras
- 1 belt

- 1 pashmina scarf

- 1 lightweight scarf

- 1 kanga/capulana/pareo

- 1 baseball cap or sun hat

- 1 pair mary jane-style high heels
- 1 pair ballet flats
- 1 pair leather sandals
- 1 pair havaianas flip flops

- 1 pair running shoes or canvas sneakers

- complete set of travel-sized toiletries

- sunscreen
- makeup
- jewelry
- reading material
- cell phone
- camera + charger
- wallet + passport
- a laptop or ipad
- glasses and sunglasses
- empty water bottle

- breath mints or gum

I've found that I have a few "warrior pieces" that are super versatile and can easily be dressed up, dressed down or layered. These include a lightweight navy blue jacket from Pilè ou Face that can go effortlessly with a fancy dress or a pair of jeans; a pair of dark stretch jeans in a slim bootcut from Adriano Goldschmeid; a sailor-inspired striped top that goes with everything; a long-sleeved black lace top from Victoria's Secret catalog; and a black shift dress that is appropriate for an afternoon with friends or an elegant evening dinner. I also swear by my high-heeled mary janes from Clark's Indigo. They are super comfortable and instantly dress up any outfit.

Do you have any "warrior pieces" to recommend?

Classification Fever

2011-07-13T14:58:00.000-07:00

I am incapable of passing an unfamiliar tree, fruit, vegetable or animal without feeling a desperate need to identify it. Languages, too. Hearing people speak some strange tounge makes me go crazy. I want to know what it is, where they are from.

I keep a running mental tally of things I need to google. The latest searches have been prompted by the caimans that hang out in the canal down the street from my m-i-l's house (jacaré do papo amarelo), the medium-sized rodents I spotted in the bushes while on a run yesterday (pretty sure they are cotias), and the tree full of mango-like yellow fruits I saw while eating lunch in Santa Teresa this afternoon (cajás).

I remember frantically trying to identify the caterpillar that stung Rico a few years ago while cleaning vines out of the pitanga tree (tropical relative of the io moth caterpillar), not to mention the myriad snakes spotted along the roadside in Mozambique (forest cobra, puff adder, and what I'm nearly positive was a black mamba).

When I'm able to make a classification it gives me such great satisfaction. Like all is well in the world because I strung together the magic combination of key words to find the beast or fruit I so desired to identify on the internet.

Jet Lag and News of a Sale

2011-07-11T19:23:00.001-07:00

Traveling East is always so much harder for me than traveling West in terms of jet lag. Although I love to sleep, I really dislike sleeping in (strange, I know) so the fact that I'm not tired at night and then sleep until 10 or 11 in the morning is really hard for me to manage. It makes me feel like I've wasted half the day, and there's nothing I can do about it until I've adjusted to the new time zone (by which time, of course, it's time to go home).

At least my jet lag is compatible with our social schedule here. Cariocas like late nights, and nearly every day we've arrived home between 11pm and 2am after birthday parties and bar outings. We've had a chance to catch up with many friends and relatives, which has been wonderful. A welcome balance to dealing with the Casa Rosa and the general stress of trying to get a few too many things done in a short number of days.

The big news is that it seems the house has sold. Rico and I literally set foot in the Casa Rosa last Monday and the phone rang with the offer. We were getting ready to do our 'despedida' photo shoot when the news came, which gave a bittersweet but ultimately very satisfying sense of closure. I wonder if you'll be able to see that look in my face in the photos? Our photographer is on holiday, so we're anxiously awaiting the proofs when he returns.

We've managed to tie up a lot of loose ends in the last week. The house seemingly has sold (still have to close, so it's not a 100% done deal yet), we've sorted out our housekeeper/caseira B.'s situation and hooked her up with another job, we've sold/donated/moved most of the furniture that was still in the house, and in general it feels like a clean end to the chapter. It's so incredibly nice to simplify and move on while the moving is good, even if it's hard to say farewell to such a special house.

Here are a few photos from our trip thus far:

Jacaré

2011-07-08T06:31:00.000-07:00

Every other day or so, Rico and I have been going running along the beach near my mother-in-law's house here in Recreio neighborhood. To get to the beach, we have to cross a small wooden footbridge over a drainage canal. The canal runs through a residential neighborhood and is surrounded by paved streets and apartment buildings on either side. There is a narrow swath of forested area along the margins.

Imagine my surprise when we spotted a fat caiman (a type of alligator commonly known as a jacaré) lounging in the water as we walked along the creaky bridge just a few feet above the canal's surface! Upon closer inspection, it wasn't just one lone caiman; there were eight, a whole group of scaly beasts ranging in size from just over a foot long to well over five feet with a belly the girth of a whisky barrel.

Apparently these urban alligators are quite common and residents don't even look twice they are so used to them hanging out in the canal.

I did some googling and found out the exact species: http://www.iucncsg.org/ph1/modules/Publications/ActionPlan3/ap2010_04.html

Rio Trends: Workout Jumpsuits and Knee Socks

2011-07-02T12:30:00.000-07:00

This lovely trend is hot right now in Rio. Patterned fitness jumpsuits with knee-high socks pulled over the legs. I've also seen many ladies with these socks over regular gym pants. Their fashion sense may be questionable, but at least their bodies look good!

Chegamos

2011-07-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

After a very long, line-filled trip, we've arrived in Rio. I have to say it was one of the worst arrivals in the city I've ever experienced.

We had a foreshadowing when, while pulling away from the jetway in Atlanta, our plane lost all power. The auxiliary power failed and we were left in the dark, literally, with no lights, engine, aircon, or PA system for the attendants to offer an explanation of what had happened. My stomach was in knots as they finally managed to recover power and we taxied toward the runway on our merry way.

The flight itself was uneventful. Arrival in Rio, however, was awful. The line for immigration stretched outside the labyrinth where weary travelers wait for processing by the federal police, all the way into the corridor that circles the airport where you first get off the plane. We waited in line for over 30m just to get in the proper line for immigration (foreigners vs brasileiros). We waited another 40 minutes in the foreigners line, thinking that because I don't have Brazilian residency we had to go through with the tourists. Apparently we were wrong and could have sped through the locals' line. Now we know...

Baggage claim and customs were a crowded mess. Imagine a metro car during rush hour, with people smashed up against each other, others trying to push their way in an already super crowded train, and others desperately attempting to wiggle their way to the door in time for their destination station. That's what the entire arrivals section felt like. Another hour and we were finally out.

The saga didn't end there, though. Exiting the airport we got stuck at a blitz, what people here call police checkpoints. We idled on the highway for another hour. We are used to blitzes, but this one was different. The army showed up, and soldiers on motorcycles pulled rank and "took over" the military police blitz. After quite some time, an escorted convoy of buses zoomed by. They were from the Jogos Militares da Paz, the Military Games for Peace (now there's an oxymoron for you!). We thought all was ok after that point, but when we finally inched our way to the actual checkpoint, we saw 4 officers with dead serious expressions, guns loaded and actively pointed towards the occupants of the vehicles going by. They were not messing around. We had to lower the windows and hope that all was ok as we drove past. This is definitely not common in a blitz. These guys were ready to shoot, a testimony to what kind of trouble they were anticipating coming through the blitz that morning.

Four hours after our plane arrived, we finally made it to Rico's mom's house. My comment to Rico was that I'm glad this wasn't my first impression of Rio, otherwise I don't know if I'd be motivated to come back for another visit!

Baggage

2011-06-29T18:14:00.000-07:00

I am agonizing over what clothes to take to Brazil. Usually I am such an efficient packer. Last year we traveled carry-on only for a 2 week trip and I was fine. But this year, my packing skills and objectivity have gone out the window.

It's almost like if I bring the perfect mix of dresses and lounge wear, going-out clothes and beach attire, boots and sandals, I will somehow be prepared for whatever emotional craziness comes my way. If I just have the right outfit, everything will be okay...or so it seems with all the obsessing over details I've been doing in the last two days trying to pack this damn suitcase.

So what am I bringing? Lots of black. More dresses than I'll likely manage to wear. High heels. Tall boots. Workout clothes and running shoes. A fuschia raw silk scarf that I've never used here at home. Gloves. Sunglasses. Havaianas.

I hope it's the right mix.

Good Times with Good People

2011-06-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about the Casa Rosa is that over the years we were able to host so many friends, friends-of-friends, and relatives. Here's a few memories.

Despedida Rosa

2011-06-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

Selling Casa Rosa has stirred up such complicated feelings for me. The most similar feeling I've had is my myriad "despedidas" over the years. Despedida means goodbye, both in Portuguese and Spanish. I remember being overwhelmed by a mix of grief, reluctance, fear, excitement, and happiness with nearly every goodbye party I've had. You're leaving behind people and places you've grown to love. You've set down roots. You've created dreams and plans involving the place you've called home. And then it's time to leave, to forge a life in another setting and start the emotional roller coaster anew.

Selling Casa Rosa most feels like my despedida when I was a high school exchange student in Maringá, Paraná. I spent a year down there, my first experience in Brazil, and had such a fantastic experience I didn't want to come home to New Mexico. I remember sobbing for weeks leading up to my departure date. When it came time to actually get in the car and drive to the airport, I bawled like a baby and had to be pried from the arms of my then-boyfriend Fernando. For as much as I didn't want to leave Maringá, I was also excited to see my mom and dad again, to be starting college in the fall, to make new friends and have new adventures.

In the big scheme of things, I knew that moving on was the right choice, but God was it hard. I had terrible reverse culture shock, and spent a good several months being an arrogant pill. All I wanted was to go back to Brazil and resume my fun life as an exchange student, and that totally clouded my vision of being home. I thought New Mexico was provincial, that our culture was piggish, that my peers were dumb, that my parents didn't understand what I'd experienced abroad, that I'd fundamentally changed and could no longer relate to anyone in my daily life. Of course, sense eventually returned to my teenage head and I had a fantastic college experience, but it was a long, bumpy road to that point.

When I think about selling Casa Rosa, I'm right back to that last desperate, weepy embrace I gave Fernando before going to the airport. I cried so hard, all I wanted to do was cling to this person and this life I'd come to call my own. Deep down I knew Fernando wasn't my forever partner, that we didn't have enough in common to continue a satisfying relationship. I knew that Maringá wasn't the right place for me either, a beautiful city but slightly isolated and hickish. Still, it was tremendously hard to let go.

We originally got Casa Rosa back in 2001 because a) it was a fantastic investment, and b) I was certain I'd return to Rio to live "for good" in the near future, and Casa Rosa would be my home. Well, plans changed. Mozambique wasn't even on my radar at that point, much less getting together with Rico and moving here to California. It's become clear that Rio won't be our home base, and we simply don't get down to Brazil enough to take advantage of that spectacular pink house.

Renting seems like an obvious solution, but it's not that easy. Casa Rosa is on the equivalent of the historic register, and it is full of the original features from 1910. Renters, no matter how well-intentioned and careful, end up destroying property. Things break. Old houses constantly need maintenance. It would be a challenge to be good landlords were we based in Rio; doing the job from another continent is a massive headache and simply not worth the effort.

We could also just leave the house empty, with only the caretaker around, as we've done for the greater part of the last decade. This option is tempting - we could hold on to this one-of-a-kind property and not have to say our goodbyes - but again the energy and resource drain is not insignificant. I think we're all at the point (and by "we" I mean me, my mom and Rico) where we want to simplify, concentrate on the lives we are currently living in the homes we currently occupy.

I do feel a bit like I'm walking away from an unfulfilled destiny with the sale of Casa Rosa. I always pictured myself living there, fully integrated in the funky, bohemian neighborhood of Santa Teresa. I'd be the artist in the pink house. We'd throw fantastic parties and host friends from all over the world. We'd know our neighbors by name. I'd suntan on the veranda and sketch the architectural details of the house while the bonde rattled by on the street below. Casa Rosa would feel like home, something that in all honesty it never truly has.

Of course we could pick up everything tomorrow, sell our furniture, put the cats in their traveler crates, and move to Rio. This Casa Rosa dream life isn't out of our reach, but I'm at the point where I have to admit that I'm not prepared to make the sacrifices for that Brazilian fantasy to come true. The life I imagine in Casa Rosa is definitely viewed through rose-colored glasses (ha, ha). It's not all bohemian wonderland. Maintaining the house is hard work. There are security issues and quality of life issues. More than anything, the life I desire in Casa Rosa would entail leaving this blessed existence in California, something I'm uninterested in doing. We love it here, and in contrast to the pink house in Santa Teresa, Casa Cali has felt like home from day one.

It's also a very good time to sell property right now in Rio, so the timing is good and we're hoping that the sale will allow our family to do new and wonderful things here in California.

We have some fantastic memories of Casa Rosa, the most spectacular being our wedding in 2008. I'd rather that amazing night be what I associate with the house, not another 10 years of long-distance maintenance that will leave us all with a bitter, resentful taste in our mouths. In my rational mind, I know it's time to move on and let someone else fulfill a dream and live their destiny in Casa Rosa. That gorgeous house deserves to be lived in, to be someone's home. Still, I can feel a lineup of sobs deep in my throat and all I really want to do is cling.

To say goodbye, a proper despedida for Casa Rosa, I've asked Rico to arrange for our wedding photographer to do a photo shoot of us in the house. It will be fitting timing, as we're just a week away from our 3-year wedding anniversary. The house is still on the market, so it still feels like it's "ours" and I'm hoping to be able to get some closure.

On My Mind

2011-06-27T18:02:00.001-07:00

- I'm annoyed because I have a pretty bad blister on my left ankle. I got it thanks to what I'd hoped would be a comfortable, cute pair of sneakers. Instead, they tore up my feet in less than 10 minutes. I wonder if an 8 would be any better (I wavered between buying 7.5 or 8 in the shop). I love the mustard color so much I would be willing to break them in, but I want to do the least amount of suffering possible.

- I worked out with my personal trainer and then went for a run with my friend E. this afternoon. Recently I made the leap from doing intervals of running/walking to just straight jogging with no breaks. It is quite exciting. We go running around Lake Merritt which is 3.1 miles, and usually can do one loop around without stopping. Not today, however. My blister got in the way and crippled me about 3/4 of the way through. I was really frustrated, but some run is better than no run.

- My week in Mendocino was life-changing. It's the first time I've felt truly validated as an artist, and I had a really good time teaching as well. I was the studio assistant for a chasing and repoussé workshop taught by a total master. He's one of these people who seems to deliberately avoid an online presence, so I won't call him out here. He's amazing, though. I felt like I was taking a workshop from Morgan Freeman in his role as God.

- The Mendocino trip was good because I feel it centered me, helped me put things into perspective. I will need to draw on this for the next four weeks.

- Rico and I are going to Brazil on Thursday. It will be a great trip for many reasons, but it will also be an emotionally and physically exhausting one. We are selling Casa Rosa, and need to clear out all the furniture and see what we want to ship back here. We need to find a place for the woman who looks out for the house to live, and a way to get her a monthly stipend since she doesn't qualify for social security yet and has health issues that prevent her from continuing to work. We need to say goodbye to the house, which will be heart-wrenching for me, but in the big scheme of things what I recognize is the best way forward. I anticipate coming back from Brazil feeling very, very, very drained. I hope that's not the case, but if I learned anything in Mozambique it's to start with low expectations and go from there.

- I wish I were a bit tanner and a bit thinner prior to going down to Rio.

- I also wish I had more time to be in studio, as I'm just dying to work but don't really have time to finish anything (or really even get started) before we fly South.

- Hazy, the neighbor's cat who adopted our house for a brief period some months ago, came back for a visit. I was in the garden picking strawberries when he appeared by my side, seemingly out of nowhere. We were so happy to see each other. I really love this cat, even though he's not ours. When we first met him, we thought he was a stray and even took him to the vet to have his microchip scanned. That's how we found out Hazy belonged to our neighbors. About a month ago they moved to Hawaii and didn't take the cat. He's now being taken care of by another neighbor, but I think he's meant to be ours and that's why he keeps coming back and being so loving. He's such a beautiful boy, a soft gray tabby who is endlessly friendly and playful. He reminds me of Parceiro.

A Glimpse of My Week in Mendocino

2011-06-24T22:17:00.001-07:00

I learned some basic blacksmithing to make my own chasing tools.

I did many, many hours of repoussé in silver.

I walked around this very charming town and drooled at all the homes and gardens.

I went running in the Mendocino Headlands several times.

Geo Floral Pattern. Digital Skills Needed.

2011-06-15T17:03:00.000-07:00

I've recently started hand-drawing patterns that are repeatable. This means you can use your designs in textiles, wrapping paper, wall paper, web backgrounds, etc. I do it the old-school way that involves scissors and tape. I'm sure it's more efficient digitally, but my 4D class at school was a waste and I learned very little as far as Photoshop and Illustrator go. Thus the paper method.

Anyhow, I have this pattern tile that I know will repeat, but I can't figure it out with the few digital skills I do possess. So here it is as a single unit.

Any quick tips as to how I can create a grid of these? I want to see the full pattern repeat, ideally digitally so I can fix any alignment issues (like I'd know how to do that, but one thing at a time). I still want to draw the patterns by hand, because that's what I love, but I want to be able to scan and arrange them using the computer.

Edited to add:

My friend E. is the best ever. She made my pattern repeat digitally and sent it to me last night. Now I just need to convince her to teach me her magic! Also I need access to a larger scanner so I can scan instead of photograph my pattern next time. That will help with the funky shadows and the slightly visible border.

Mandala Necklace (In Progress)

2011-06-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

Edited today to add the story of how this piece made me cry. I was too tired last night and forgot.

Last semester (Spring 2011) my jewelry class concentrated primarily on chasing and repoussé, a technique that involves hammering steel punches against a softer metal (e.g. copper, silver) to create three-dimensional relief and fantastic texturing. It's the closest to drawing in metal I've ever experienced. Chasing is when you work the front side of the metal, creating outlines or adding detail to a previously "pushed out" section. Repoussé, or more properly repoussage, is when you work the back side of the metal to create volume, the aforementioned "pushing out".

In preparation for our first big assignment, we made tools (intimidating but useful) by grinding steel punches into different shapes. We then practiced tap-tap-tapping the tools against copper to get an idea of how much you can manipulate metal into the form and design you desire. Metal really is more like clay than you'd ever imagine. It's amazing how elastic it can be when manipulated with punches and a hammer.

Our first assignment was to create a piece that expresses a dichotomy, ideally using chasing and repoussé. We were challenged to be conceptual, and to express two polar opposite concepts within one piece of jewelry or sculptural object.

Nearly all of my ideas for this project revolved around the idea of ornamentation vs. clean space. I love patterns and embellishments, but they need some negative or quiet space to feel balanced. Taking it further, when I create hand-drawn patterns or do repetitive decorative work, I get into a trance-like state. The work is very meditative, and I find it ironic that by making something so "busy" I am able to attain the clean-mind state of being that is the goal of most meditation. That was my conceptual dichotomy - the contrast between ornate, busy embellishments and the quiet, blank mind-space I reach by creating them. Now how to express that idea in metal...

I first started by sketching some pattern progressions. I wanted to make a necklace where each link would be progressively complex in form as well as texture/ornamentation. My inspiration was from a Nanettte Lepore dress I coveted earlier in the year.

Once I had a progression I was happy with, I started to sketch out the center medallion for the necklace. I wanted it to be mandala-like, a repetition of the shape used in the links. My idea is for the outside of the mandala to be super textured, but for the center to be very clean and smooth to express how my meditative mind feels while making all these patterns and textures.

After I got my idea sorted, I started to work in sterling silver. In order to chase and repoussé, you need something to support the metal when you strike it with the steel punches. We use a bowl full of a resin-like substance called pitch that is viscous and tar-like when heated, then dries to a hard consistency that will securely hold your metal in place while you work it, yet is supple enough to allow the metal to expand and contract. It's messy but pretty amazing.

Once I'd worked each link in my necklace, I cut them out with a jeweler's saw and soldered a border on the back to reinforce the edges (they get pretty thin with all that hammering). The links between the chased and repousséd pieces were cut from very thick silver that I recycled myself.

Back and forth, back and forth. You have to flip your metal several times in order to get the desired effect. It takes time. Lots of time. And all that hammering and holding tools is pretty hard on the hands and forearms. I struggled with repetitive stress injuries nearly all semester despite being really vigilant about stretching, resting and good posture.

I also had a mini-breakdown due to this piece taking so much out of me. I had about 10 times the work I'd anticipated, and spent 12-hour days in the studio everysingleday of Spring Break. That Wednesday it got to me. I hated my work. I was exhausted. I resented not having a vacation when I already so desperately needed one. I was especially frustrated because it was a *choice* to do this project, and a *choice* to work every damn day of my break, and a *choice* to push myself so hard. I had nobody to really blame/thank for how I felt but myself. After stepping outside into the alleyway outside the studio and having a good, lonesome cry I felt somewhat better. Still, I thought quite clearly, "I don't want to do this anymore." In that moment, I wasn't sure what that feeling encompassed. My specific project? School? Becoming a jewelry artist? Having my own business at all?

Although I worked a ridiculous amount on this piece, I wasn't able to finish it in time for the deadline (or even for the end of the semester, although I had good intentions). That was tough, but there came a point where I just had to set the necklace aside and concentrate on the next project so I wouldn't fall behind on that one as well. Being super burned out didn't help either. Honestly I didn't want to work on the dichotomy piece anymore. We needed some time apart. It was useful to see how much I can push myself, where my limit is, at what point I burn out physically and/or emotionally.

At least I was in good company for this whole experience. I think nearly everyone in our department has turned in a piece late despite their best intentions and efforts, and definitely everyone has had a crisis or three. I felt ashamed, defeated, tired, and stressed...but I felt like part of the team. Ha!

This is how far I've gotten on the necklace. I still need to do some texture work on the center mandala and then saw it out. I also plan to use dark patina (liver of sulfur) to add shadows to each of the elements and bring out the texture of the chasing and repoussé. I also need to finish a clasp. I'd estimate I have another 40 hours or so before completing the piece. Looks like I have my work cut out for me this summer!

The center medallion is about 5 inches in diameter and will hang just above the bust when worn. This is not a necklace for the faint of heart. Fittingly, it's being custom-made for a very strong woman: my mom. :)

Summer Blues

2011-06-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd have shaken the post-semester blahs by now, but seemingly they're keen to hang out for a while longer. I tend to feel blue for a few weeks after school is out (something akin to adrenaline withdrawals, I think) but this summer I'm feeling particularly down. Nothing concrete is wrong, in fact life is pretty terrific. I just frequently feel sad for no real reason.

Maybe this is leading up to some fantastic art? Or a turning-30 crisis? Perhaps both.

On Becoming Boring

2011-05-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

It's a thought that crosses my mind frequently these days: I'm becoming boring. More accurately, perhaps, I already have.

For so much of my life I lived abroad, traveled at every opportunity to places far, far off the beaten track, attended house parties frequented by an achingly cool international crowd, befriended people on planes and long-haul bus trips, changed plans in whatever way suited my fancy, and generally threw caution to the wind. I had many adventures, that's for sure, and a lot of my identity became defined by that exciting expat-traveler lifestyle.

Not that I wasn't aware of the downsides of the path I'd chosen. The frequent loneliness and depression, the culture shock and reverse culture shock, the isolation from family, the inevitable distancing from friends. Still, despite the negative aspects, it was a hell of an exciting way to live.

For the last couple of years, I've been shifting out of that mode. There were signs of it in Mozambique, as I increasingly craved time at home, with Rico and the cats, doing nothing and going nowhere. I thought it was a natural reaction to the crazy work habits we'd been keeping, taking on every freelance job that came across our plates. I figured I was burned out, in need of a break.

Then we moved to Casa Cali and the introverted, homebody tendencies continued strong. I rationalized that it was because we'd just moved, that in time I'd want to venture out and explore, that we'd make friends, that my old adventure-seeking self would bounce back.

Nearly two years in, and that hasn't exactly happened. I still feel like I'm plain, stay-home Jane. I have very little desire to go out, even to the city. My days are spent in the studio, gardening, hanging out at home. Social events sort of exhaust me. I can't remember the last time I set foot in a dance club or went to a fantastic late-night party, much less take a spontaneous weekend trip. We have a mortgage. We're in bed by midnight. Signs abound pointing to my very adult life.

Part of me loves this slower, home-oriented pace. I spent lots of quality time with Rico and my mom. I hang out with the cats. I cook and decorate and get my hands dirty in the garden. I make lots of art. It's relaxing, comforting work. More than anything I like the stability, the idea that Rico and I are building our home at Casa Cali and we will never, ever have to pack boxes and move ourselves halfway across the world again.

Another part of me, however, feels like I've let the train pass me by. I turn 30 in the fall, and I can't quite believe I'm this settled, this quiet, this grown-up. If I'm like this at nearly-30, the panicky part of me wonders, what will I be like at 40, or 50? When will I ever be adventurous and spontaneous again? When will I visit Lençóis Maranhenses, hike Monte Roraima, attend the Festival au Desert in Timbuktu? When will I do any of the other things that have been on my dreams list for years if all I want to do at this point is stay home? Because after art school comes kids, or so the plan goes, and if I find it hard to lead an "exciting" life now, I can only imagine how distant that concept will be with a child or two on scene.

I guess this is part of the grand cycle of getting older, making choices, becoming more conscious about what path you follow and how you spend your time. What a strange, bittersweet feeling to mourn and long for the person you once were, while at the same time not regretting for one instant the person you've become.

This Tropical Life

2011-05-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

April Showers Bring...May Showers.

2011-05-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

I wish it would stop raining. We've had an atypically wet winter and spring here at Casa Cali and, while we're grateful for the full reservoirs and reduced fire danger, I find myself longing for sun and warmer temperatures. I am happier when it feels like summer outside, no question.

At least one upside to all this rain is that it makes for easier gardening. Rico and I are still waging a war on weeds, blackberry and ivy, those overly aggressive inhabitants of our backyard. We're making progress, though. We just covered a large portion of the big hill with a layer of weed-block fabric, burlap and bark chips. Hopefully it will do the trick and that part of the garden will remain clean.

We watched the final match of the Champion's League this morning with A. and D., a couple we've become friends with. He's a fanatic Barcelona supporter and a hilarious heckler, so it made for a really good time.

Later in the afternoon, Rico and I took the cats to the vet for a checkup. Never my favorite thing to do. Going to the vet stresses me out so much, I feel almost as worn out as the cats do once we are finished. Everyone seemingly has a clean bill of health, so we're hopefully good for another year.

We have a fire going in the fireplace this evening, complete with red wine and a game or two of Scrabble. Hard to believe given that it's Memorial Day Weekend, a holiday I associate with sundresses, barbecues and pool parties. Still, not a bad proposition at all...

1,000

2011-05-27T22:51:00.000-07:00

I remember the night I started writing this blog. It was almost summer in Austin and I was in the process of packing up my apartment. I'd decided to move to Mozambique, that it was time for an(other) adventure. I had a ridiculously heavy Toshiba laptop that took up most of the cheap build-it-yourself workstation in the corner of my living room. Azul was sprawled out along the top of my chair, purring contently. I worried about finding a buyer for my Saturn sedan, whether my plane ticket to Maputo would arrive in the mail in time, what exact assortment of clothes I should put in my already overstuffed suitcase.

That night seems like an eternity ago, much more than the six-ish years that have passed. I feel like a totally different person now, and in many ways I am.

This blog started out with humble intentions - to record my experiences in Africa and beyond in a way that was accessible to my friends and family - but it turned into something much greater. I never could have anticipated the number of people I'd meet, virtually and in person, as a result of my writing. What an amazing age we live in that these sort of connections are possible.

Thanks to all of you who have joined me here over the past few years. It's been a pleasure to get to know you, and your presence makes me want to be a better, more diligent writer.

Here's to the next 1,000 posts.

love,

Ali

Loved

2011-05-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

Can you see it? The faint heart and scrawled red word on this otherwise unmarked gravestone? It makes me wonder who lies here, and who so touchingly left this message. Are they family? Or was it a stranger visiting another grave who decided to give love to someone seemingly without?

My mom and I had visited this old Japanese cemetery before, fifteen years ago, while aimlessly exploring the back roads of Hanalei. We managed to find it again this time, with the help of Google, as our memories weren't quite clear enough to remember that you had to turn up Kumu Road, not the much longer Old Powerhouse Road. I'm glad we were able to revisit.

The Plan for Summer 2011

2011-05-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

My goals for this summer include:

1. Redesign my website. Increasingly I find myself wanting a site where I can show my portfolio of jewelry and metal objects I've made in art school, as well as other forms of art I find myself drawn to (i.e. work with patterns and painting). I want people to be able to see what I've made in the past and what I'm currently working on, not just what I have for sale. I'm in a funny position being in school. The jewelry I'm making right now is very different from what I've done in the past (basically higher-end, metal-based pieces vs. beaded and wire-work jewelry), but because each piece takes so much time and effort, it's hard to offer them for sale. I can still keep chugging along with the strung/wire jewelry because it's relatively fast to make, so that's what I'll primarily keep selling until I've graduated, I imagine. What I sell isn't representative anymore of the direction my art is headed, and I want a way for my website to reflect the whole picture.

2. Train for a 10k. I used to be one of those people who hated running with a passion. Running was suffering, a form of punishment, a way to compensate when I'd been "bad" with food. Something shifted about a year ago. I discovered that I actually love to run now. It's still really hard some days, but the payoff I get in terms of stress management and a runner's high is unbeatable. Rico has also gotten into running, and our New Year's Resolution was to do a 10k. We're targeting a race in September, so this summer is the prime time to train. I'm currently running about 4-5 miles, so it definitely seems like a feasible goal.

3. Work in the studio. I have a lot of projects I'd like to start/finish over the summer. I need to fabricate the clasp and do some final chasing and repousse work on this giant silver necklace I'm making for my mom. It was actually one of my assignments this past semester, and I wasn't able to finish. More on that later. I'd also really like to tackle some side projects that I've had in mind for months. My goal is to go to the studio at school 3x/week.

4. Gardening. Lots and lots of it. We have so much to do at Casa Cali to get the yard in shape, and it's only going to happen if Rico and I are outside with our hands in the soil. We have blackberry and ivy to pull out, a second stone retaining wall to build, vegetables to plant and much more.

5. Home improvements. Paint Rico's home office Azure, a gorgeous hue of royal blue tinged with gray (paint was bought at least 6 months ago and we still haven't gotten to it). Finish replacing the flooring downstairs. We're ripping out old carpet and putting in cherry wood veneers. Rico already did the hallway and the guest room, now we need to do his office and mine.

6. Go to Houston for a long weekend. We have my cousins AJ and Renaud to visit, as well as Tia Lindy, our friend and ex-roommate from our days in Maputo, not to mention my college best friend Angel and her Brazilian husband Tony.

7. Do something lovely for our 3-year wedding anniversary in July. I'm thinking wine or beach, a day's drive away from Casa Cali at most.

8. Paint a few portraits and do some color mixing exercises. I fell in love with painting last year, and sadly haven't had much time to keep experimenting. This summer I'd like to paint my mom's portrait, see if I can find an old photo of my cousin's mom who passed away and try to paint her, and do lots of color mixing gradients. Dark to light, mixing complementary colors, etc. I actually love the technical aspect of learning to paint. I feel it's akin to doing your scales and learning theory when you play a musical instrument, only I always hated that part of playing the piano and avoided it like the plague. :)

9. Go pick fruit in Brentwood and do another round of canning. Rico thinks I'm crazy for liking to pick my own fruit. I think it's loads of fun. I'm thinking cherries again for sure, and maybe some peaches and nectarines.

10. Hang out with friends. I finally have a small group of people here in the Bay Area I consider friends, and I'd really like to take the opportunity to have them over for churrascos, go hiking, go to museums, go to concerts, etc. Some are school friends, others are random friends, but I'm looking forward to further developing our fledgling bonds.

Do you have any goals or plans for this summer?

Self-Portrait with Taro Fields

2011-05-13T11:19:00.000-07:00

Kaua'i

2011-05-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

The last time we were on this rainy island was 14 years ago. I was a teenager, upset that the rental car company wouldn't let me drive even though I had my license already in New Mexico, interested in, as my mom remembers it, virgin piña coladas and clothes shopping. Not that I was shallow, just 15.

To be fair, I do recall being thrilled with those tall, adult-looking drinks and the shops filled with batik-print tops and colorful swimsuits. I remember many other things, too. The rainy day (always the rain, it seems) that we went to the farmers' market and high-stepped through the mud to the stand with the lady with ribbon-entwined braids who gave us samples of breadfruit. The fish taco truck near the river bank, and the endless spotted green of the taro fields in the Hanalei valley. I remember being shocked when my mom picked up a hitchhiker on the side of the island's main road (a harmless-looking hippie college girl from Santa Cruz, but a stranger with her thumb out nonetheless), and the hundreds of miniature shells you could find among the grains of sand if you just looked hard enough and trained your eyes to see the right shapes.

I don't remember that we'd vacationed here three times previously, not two. I don't remember quite as many chickens (they are everywhere, and lay the most delightful pale blue and reddish-beige eggs), or that there was ever a threat of flash floods as a result of so. much. torrential. rain. I don't remember there being so many sophisticated restaurants, or such an emphasis on local, sustainably grown food. Then again, my eyes were focused on different things back in 1997, I suppose, and nobody's memory is infallible.

What began as a tradition of mother-daughter vacations has now evolved into mother-daughter-Rico. Plus a husband or plus a son-in-law, depending on whose perspective. We were all in need of a vacation, some of us more desperately than others, but all definitely due for some time away from the weight of our obligations and routines.

This morning, our first full day on Kaua'i, we all went for a run towards Tunnels Beach. It was early, enough so that the sun was just beginning to scorch and mothers were still waiting with their children by the roadside for the school bus to pass. My mom, Rico and I ran in a line, our heavy breath and pounding footsteps broken only by the occasional rooster's cackling or the friendly aloha-good-morning of a fellow jogger. It felt communal, cleansing, satisfying. The perfect start to a holiday.

Sundial

2011-05-05T07:10:00.000-07:00

Early this morning, when the Bay was still dove gray and quiet, the sun rose at precisely the right angle as to brilliantly flash upon the lighthouse across the water in Tiburon. The shine was so intense it reflected a golden dagger of light onto the water, a sharp linear beam that seemed to indicate some divine moment or astronomical alignment. Alas, we are a far cry from the Maya or the early peoples who created Stonehenge. The golden line on the water was simply coincidence, an illuminated treat for those with their eyes open at the right time at the right random location. I took a photo, made some coffee, then went about my day. Still, I can't help but feel I witnessed some special sign.

Home Stretch

2011-04-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

I have about a month left of school and have accepted that this crazy rhythm likely won't stop until the semester is over. I am overwhelmed and exhausted, but in a good way. I hope. :)

Once I am on break for the summer, I will give you updates (and photos!) of the pieces I made in my jewelry class last semester, the pieces I made this current semester, the sketches from a daily drawing exercise we did in my color on metal class, and more.

You can also look forward to a big, reflective post at some point in May. This is Austin to Africa, Brasil to the Bay post number 994, and I'm on the home stretch to 1,000.

What does one do to commemorate one's 1,000th blog post?

I'm trying to think of other non-essential things in life of which I've done 1,000. Journal entries, back when I used to write in blank books. I have at least 10 volumes full of writing and no idea how many pages that amounts to, really. I'd say more than 1,000 easily.

I don't think I'm near the point of having done 1,000 pieces of any kind of art. Something to look forward to, I suppose.

La Vida Expatica #7: Stuff Expat Aid Workers Like

2011-03-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

I imagine some of you may have already come across this snarky gem of a site. The postings are hilarious and so dead-on, definitely worth checking out if you are working or have worked in international development.

No Shortcuts. None At All.

2011-03-22T10:19:00.001-07:00

That's perhaps the most profound lesson I've received from being a jewelry/metal arts student. There are no shortcuts. You must put in the serious time, be meticulous, measure twice (or more) and cut once, sketch, design, hammer, file, solder and polish until your fingers are ready to fall off and your mental state is questionable at best.

When you are tempted to shortcut, thinking that something is "good enough" and you'll just go with it and make it work, you end up creating dozens of hours of extra work for yourself. Such a different mindset from all of the other university experience I've had, where I could always procrastinate and then cram at the verylastminute for an exam, knowing that I had the writing and presentation skills to pull off almost anything and get a really good grade.

This is such a different world. :)

Right now I'm technically on spring break, but rather than going on vacation or lounging at home, I'm holed up in the studio 9+ hours per day. I have a giant project due the day we get back from break, and if I don't put in the time there's no way I will be finished.

My hands are insanely sore, but all this work kind of feels good. Hopefully I'll have been successful in my time management and my project will be finished in time for class on Monday.

Big Love

2011-03-08T08:02:00.001-08:00

Rico's brother recently visited us here at Casa Cali. We had a fantastic time together, and thought we'd take a commemorative photo on his last night. I was doing homework, and gato preto (Pria) just couldn't resist being part of the action. He hopped right up on my sketchbook just as we staged the photo and hit the self-timer on the camera.

Postcard Mobile Tutorial

2011-03-01T21:35:00.001-08:00

For those of you who've requested a tutorial for the postcard mobile or expressed interested in making something similar yourselves, hopefully this little guide will help.

What you need:

- multiple postcards (I used 54, but you can work with any number, really)
- scissors- strong glue (I used tacky glue. Hot glue should work super well.)
- medium-heavy copper craft wire or steel binding wire (I used 18 gauge steel wire)
- wire coat hanger (alternately you could use a piece of steel music wire)
- push pin or very tiny hole punch

- pencil or pen

- wire cutters

- needle-nose pliers

The first step is to gather a bunch of similarly-sized postcards (I imagine you could also use photos, greeting cards or any other colorful, standard-sized paper media as well). How many postcards should you use? Totally up to you.

I used 54 in my mobile, partly because our project assignment was to make 50 sculptures, partly because I wanted my mobile to be pretty big. I ended up making 6 columns with 9 "flowers" in each; the finished mobile is about as tall as I am (5ft 6in).

The next step is to cut out the flower/butterfly shapes. I did all of mine freehand, because I like the slightly irregular look, but you could easily use a template and cut all of your shapes out exactly the same. You will be making 8 petals: 4 long ones and 4 baby ones. You will also have two center circles: one for the front, and one slightly smaller for the back.

Here's how you'll do the cuts. The black lines are for the big petals, the blue lines are for the small petals, and the pink circles are for the centers. Sorry this is wonky. :)

To do the cuts, start by finding the center point of the postcard. It doesn't have to be exact. To make the large petals, you want to cut in towards the center from a spot about 1/2" on either side of one of the postcard's corners. Basically the postcard's corners will become the ends of your big petals. Taper in as you cut towards the middle of the postcard so that you have nice, sharp points instead of the fat, wobbly ones in my illustration.

The baby petals and the two circles you can cut from your scraps. The small petals don't all have to be the same size. The center circles can be irregular as well. Try to make them about the size of a quarter, or about 1" diameter. One circle will be for the front, one for the back.

Figure out how you want your flower to be arranged - which petals where, etc. Or you can just glue the petals wily-nily and get a surprise at the end.

Now it's time to glue. Pick which circle you want to be on the front, and flip it over so the white part is up. Cover this side with a good layer of glue. Then place the 4 large petals, white-side-up as well, on top of the circle so that the skinny ends of the petals touch each other. You want them to be arranged like the cardinal points on a compass: North, South, East and West.

Next put the baby petals (also flipped over) in the remaining spaces on the circle. You're essentially assembling a compass rose shape. Once you have all the petals placed, cover the white side of the other circle with glue. Press it on top of the first circle and the petal points, like you're making a sandwich. You should see the back side of all your petals (white) and a colorful circle in the middle.

Make sure everything is nicely glued together. You may want to put a weight on top to help all the components stick together. Once the glue is set, flip over your flower and check out the amazing pattern that has formed.

Repeat. :)

Once you've made all of your flowers, it's time to arrange them in a way that's pleasing to you. Decide how many hanging columns you want, and how many flowers will go in each one. I did 6 columns with 9 flowers each, and arranged everything according to a color gradient.

Once you have everything laid out - ideally in a neat column/grid format - it's time to start assembling. Use a thumbtack or tiny hole punch to put a hole near the tip of each of the four large petals. Each flower will be joined to the next from two petals. (If you want your flowers to connect from one point only (i.e. oriented like a plus sign instead of an 'x'), that would work too.)

Now take the copper wire (or steel binding wire) and start coiling it around the pen or pencil (you'll get the best results with a totally smooth pen/pencil, not one that has facets or angles). Make a bunch of coils, and try to get them really tight together. Once you have filled up a couple of inches with coiled wire, wiggle the coiled section off the pen/pencil. Start cutting the coils apart so that you are creating jump rings (you can google any tutorial for making wire jump rings and get a much better explanation, with pictures). The process is really easy, it's just hard to describe.

Make as many jump rings as you need to join your flowers together. Open one ring using your needle-nose pliers, thread it through a petal, and join it to the petal of another flower. Repeat for the other petals. Join all of your flowers together in this manner. The photo below shows how the flowers should be linked.

Once you have all your flowers linked with the wire rings, it's time to create the hoop from which they will hang. I used an old coat hanger, but you could also use steel music wire. The key is to have strong, relatively thick steel wire that will hold its shape. Create a circle that will accommodate the number of flower columns you'll hang. My circle was roughly 1 foot in diameter. Bend the wire to create the circle, making sure to overlap the ends so you can wrap them together with a bit of the same copper/binding wire you used to make the rings.

Connect the rings from the top row of flowers to the hoop you've just created. Voilà! You should now have a complete postcard flower mobile. :) I hung mine from the ceiling using a bit of fishing line attached to the coat hanger hoop.

Sorry this tutorial isn't the best, but it was made after-the-fact and I don't have the original sculpture to take reference photos from. I'm happy to report it now lives in the home of my friend M. who recently had a baby boy and is the best recipient of a mobile I can imagine.

Questions? Feel free to contact me.

Weekend on a Tuesday

2011-02-15T14:43:00.001-08:00

I frequently lose track of what day it is (as in unsure whether it's Wednesday or Saturday, not the actual date).

Does this ever happen to you?

At least once a week I do a mix-up. Most recently I thought it was Tuesday when it was really Monday. And today (the *real* Tuesday) feels like a Saturday. You'd think that being in school with a regular class schedule would help, but alas the trend that started back in Moz when Rico and I were self-employed and working from home has only worsened. I think it's the fact that I keep funnier hours than ever, what with all the studio time I have to put in these days. I often work straight through weekends, only to have a random afternoon off mid-week that becomes relax-and-have-a-cocktail time.

Even worse than mixing up the days of the week? About a month ago, when school started, I mixed up what semester it was! Our teacher handed out the syllabus and, in front of the entire class, I helpfully let him know that all the dates were wrong. I saw a page full of "February" and "March" and for some crazy reason thought it was the previous semester, as if we were in the Fall and our professor had accidentally grabbed the Spring syllabus. Needless to say I was pretty embarrassed, and my classmates all looked at me like I'd gone insane.

Lack of sleep and unpredictable hours...they do a body good.

Spring Early, Early Spring

2011-02-12T10:45:00.000-08:00

The Bay Area is known for its mild, Mediterranean climate but what we're experiencing right now weather-wise is uncommonly warm even for these parts. Spring has fully sprung, several weeks early it seems, and as I look out the window I see daffodils in bloom, our plum tree covered with soft pink blossoms, and the neighbor's camellia studded with dark pink flowers. It's sunny, easily 70 degrees. Such a treat, although supposedly the weather is going to turn back to "normal" tomorrow and we'll get cooler temperatures and a bit of rain. We need it, really, but I will miss the sun and warmth. I am much happier with this kind of weather.

I thought about the phrase 'spring early' as I wrote the title to this post. That's really the philosophy I'm trying to embody this semester. Spring early. Don't put things off. Get things done today instead of constantly leaving them for tomorrow, or the next day. I've certainly gotten better about procrastinating, but it's akin to torture to have a day as gorgeous as what we're experiencing today and a to-do list a mile long that involves either being in the studio or in front of a computer. The urge to put tasks off until tomorrow is nearly impossible to resist. I've given in, in fact, and have decided not to go to the studio today so that I can enjoy a bit more time outside. Instead I'll write a paper today, prepare a presentation, work in my sketchbook. In theory, things I can do with my computer or sketchbook on my lap while sitting on the deck in the sun.

Tomorrow I'll spend all day in the studio. Feeling slightly stressed because I've procrastinated and left my jewelry project for the lastpossibleminute (I have to turn in a finished chasing and repoussé sample Monday afternoon). But still, a worthwhile tradeoff to enjoy a glorious day of early spring.

Owen Jones - Examples of Chinese Ornament

2011-02-10T19:18:00.000-08:00

Aren't these Chinese patterns from the 1860's just fantastic? I love the colors and the delicate intricacy of the images. I found these on The Textile Blog, which is like a virtual candy store for those of us who love textiles, lace, carpets, wallpaper, design and more.

Love Goes Beyond Borders Adoption Fundraiser

2011-02-09T22:18:00.000-08:00

Lately my life has been on a faster, crazier, more sleep-deprived track than usual - but I'm happy to report it's for a fantastic cause. I've been working in collaboration with a friend I went to high school and college with, Ashlee Othick Andrews, who is expanding her family through adoption. Ashlee and her husband live in Calgary (Canada) and have two gorgeous children of their own, but they believe strongly in adoption and have decided to welcome an 18-month-old boy from Uganda into their family. Between traveling to Uganda and the fees associated with the adoption, they are looking at a significant financial hurdle.

Ashlee and I began talking a few months ago about doing a jewelry fundraiser to help offset these expenses and make their adoption a reality. I've since been hard at work designing a Uganda-themed jewelry collection, producing sample pieces, taking photographs of everything, writing descriptions, and brainstorming how to get the most support possible for the fundraiser. In short, Ashlee and I have pulled off the design, production and marketing for a jewelry line! Not an easy feat, especially with the craziness of school, but it's been an amazing experience and I'm really proud of the collection.

It's been especially inspiring to work with the gorgeous handmade paper beads I sourced for the collection. Women artisans in Uganda make these beads by cutting strips from magazines and rolling them up until a bead is formed. They then coat the outside of the bead with a clear varnish to make them stronger and water-resistant. The colors and patterns in these paper beads are unbelievable, some of the most amazing materials I've ever worked with. I sourced the beads from two nonprofit organizations, Paper to Pearls and Outreach Uganda (both out of Colorado of all places!) who send their proceeds back to the women in Uganda who made the beads.

Ashlee has set up an online shop at Etsy where we're listing the fundraiser jewelry. There are limited quantities available, and some pieces one-of-a-kind. We're taking orders through Tuesday, February 15th, then I'll do all the production and have everything shipped out by March 10th. All shop proceeds go directly to the Andrews' family adoption fund.

Please stop by the Love Goes Beyond Borders shop on Etsy, if nothing else to have a look and admire all the fantastically colorful pieces in the collection. If you are able to support Ashlee and her family in bringing home their new son, it would mean a great deal to them and to me as well. Thank you all in advance!

You can read more about the Andrews' adoption saga on their blog.

The Postcard Mobile

2011-02-02T21:25:00.000-08:00

Here's the finished result of the project I told you about here. My favorite part was organizing the postcard flowers into a color gradient that flowed both horizontally and vertically. I'm exhausted (not enough sleep last night) but satisfied with the end result, and my critique went quite well in class today.

Now to figure out what to do with this thing...

I Want This Dress

2011-01-29T15:10:00.001-08:00

I am seriously coveting this dress. It's the Two to Tango by Nanette Lepore. The cut, color and pattern are just about perfect in my book. Sigh...

Postcards

2011-01-27T11:25:00.000-08:00

Our first assignment in my Sculpture I class is to make 50 sculptures. We can use any materials, they can be any size, and we can create intuitively or have a specific concept. We're also encouraged to be eco-friendly in our materials choice and our processes. We've been challenged not to buy anything for the project, rather use only found, borrowed, or already-owned objects in our work.

I decided to make 50 "sculptures" using my childhood postcard collection. I've collected postcards since about the 4th grade. Many of them I bought as souvenirs on various trips around the US and abroad; others were sent to me by friends and family over the years. Until now, my postcards have sat in a box in the closet, tucked safely away but essentially out of sight and subsequently out of mind.

I'm cutting up each postcard into a floral shape, pasting together the petals, then will string them together on fishing line. At the end of each strand I will create a small wire sculpture to act as a weight. The strands of postcard flowers will hang from a circular wire structure, sort of like a veil. From the outside the viewer will see all of the colors; from the inside of the mobile, they will see the white side of the postcards, some of which have writing and stamps, and a small center of color taken from the printed side of the card. I imagine this will be almost a floor-to-ceiling work once it's finished next week.

I've really enjoyed the process of making the postcard flower mobile. I like the idea of reducing clutter in my home, and it's been refreshing to "get over" the sentimental ties that lead us to cling to things from our past. Part of me didn't want to cut up the postcards, as they were these precious mementos from people and places I may never see again. However, the memories didn't fade with the cuts, and now I will have a beautiful object to display that will actually remind me more of what I want to hold on to than a hidden box of postcards ever could.

Weekend

2011-01-23T18:05:00.000-08:00

For the last several years, I've had the luxury of always having Fridays off. When I was consulting in Mozambique, not having to be in a client's office or otherwise on-call was one of my main criteria. Having Fridays to myself gave me a chance to catch up on jewelry making, errands, and life in general.

The 3-day weekend trend continued all last year, as most of the classes at CCA meet either Mon-Wed or Tue-Thurs. However, this semester I am taking a class on Fridays called Color on Metal that meets for 6 hours at a time. I am quite excited about the class, which involves enameling and patination, but am having to seriously adjust to a 2-day weekend. More than anything I'm aware that I must make those precious two days off count. I want to be sure I relax and unwind as much as possible, while having to put in studio hours and get homework done.

This weekend was a good one. Granted school hasn't hit a frenetic pace yet (although I have no doubt it will in about a week), so I was able to get in some good relaxation as well as be productive. I went to the studio, worked on several homework assignments, went to a friend's gallery opening with my mom and Rico, went to a party at our local pub, cooked a lot (waffles from scratch, turkey meatloaf, tortellini, salad, fried eggs), and went for a great hour-long jog with Rico this afternoon. The weather has been lovely, so there's definitely been some lounging in the sun on the deck with a glass of wine as well.

I feel better about the whirlwind that my life's about to become due to school. More prepared, more able to cope. I made some progress on organizing my office/studio, which definitely helped, and I've tried to put things in perspective in terms of the expectations I place on myself. Hopefully next week is a good one, and I'm able to hold on to the feeling of being able to swim and not sink.

Back on the Roller Coaster

2011-01-20T11:44:00.001-08:00

I started school again on Tuedsay, kicking of my second full year here at CCA. I'm excited about my classes (jewelry 2B, enameling, sculpture 1, history of jewelry and metal arts) but am already feeling very overwhelmed.

Last semester was so intense, so much work, so crazy that I don't think I can handle a repeat this semester without a breakdown of some sort. I can control some aspects of my workload (i.e. how complex the projects are that I choose), but for the most part the assignments are set and the pace can't be altered. I don't really know how to explain what it feels like to be in art school as a second-degree student. The best approximation is that it's as if I were a contestant on Project Runway while having to deal with running my own business, not to mention "real life" and all of its obligations at the same time. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster with no brakes, and all I can do is hold on, work as diligently as possible, and take things one day at a time in hopes that I don't fall off.

Part of what has me feeling so unsettled is that my home office/studio/dressing area is really cluttered. I'm on a constant battle to get organized, but despite all my efforts I've not really mastered the beast quite yet. It's a challenging room to tackle because it serves many functions: a closet and dressing area for me (Rico's stuff is upstairs in the small closet in our bedroom), storage area for all of my photos (back when I actually organized them into albums) and select childhood mementos, an office where I do schoolwork and take care of the administrative side of my business, a creative space for school projects and my own jewelry work, a photography studio, and my little corner of the house.

I have purged a lot of what I own, trying to keep only those things that I need and use on a consistent basis. Still, it's a lot of stuff. Art supplies for school, beads, wire, jeweler's tools, office supplies, books, shipping supplies, jewelry displays, photo equipment and lighting...not to mention my own clothes and jewelry and shoes. I desperately need a better framework for organizing everything. I need some more shelves and a bookcase. I need a way to organize my tools so they're accessible but tidy. Ufff. I bought a jeweler's bench over break which hopefully will help isolate some of the jewelry stuff and give me a dedicated work area for metals projects, but it will also make my room more crowded.

I can't express how much I want a clean, organized "home base" from which to run my business and plow through my school work. Just knowing that my space is cluttered makes the craziness of the school semester that much harder to manage. Bit by bit I'm trying to find solutions, and Rico has been quite helpful. He's going to build some shelves for me and put in new flooring so I can do more studio-type work at home without worrying about the carpet getting impregnated with metal shavings or, once I get a soldering station set up, catching on fire!

I know that fundamentally everything will be ok. I'll get through the semester, I'll enjoy my projects, I'll learn new skills, I'll eventually get my office/studio area organized. I just wish I had a magic wand to wave so that it would all fall into place tomorrow.

Alexandra Amaro Jewelry Clearance Sale

2011-01-07T17:23:00.000-08:00

In order to open the doors for new jewelry designs in 2011, I am holding a super sale with select Alexandra Amaro designs marked up to 50% off. Visit www.alexandraamaro.com to see the selection of beautiful pieces that need new homes.

Anasazi Africa Necklace - antique trade beads salvaged from shipwrecks off the coast of Mozambique, turquoise, hand-carved sandalwood beads, sterling silver

Pimenta Earrings - handmade recycled glass Krobo beads from Ghana, Indian Rubies, Swarovski crystals, 14k gold-filled wire and ear hooks

Maliana Necklace - ceramic beads from Mali, Swarovski pearls, Thai Hill Tribes silver

Ghana to Gallup Necklace - recycled glass Krobo beads from Ghana, turquoise, sterling silver

Rio-Style New Year's at Casa Cali

2011-01-05T19:02:00.000-08:00

This year Rico and I decided to combine traditions and do a Rio-influenced Reveillon on the beach here at Casa Cali, joined by my mom and several neighbors. We wore white, or as close to white as possible given the constraints of a winter wardrobe, threw roses and agapanthus lilies into the ocean with shouted wishes for 2011, lit incense, and had a champagne toast at sunset. What a fantastic way to ring in the new year.

My wish? (Well one of them, at least.)

That we've started a tradition.

Happy 2011, everyone. May it be the best year yet.

Holidays

2010-12-23T09:35:00.000-08:00

I am so grateful to be on winter break, although it hasn't really hit me yet that school is over and I can kick back and relax. Rico and I took one what we swear will be our last agricultural development consulting assignment, so the day after school was finished I had to get on the computer and write about program objectives and how to measure the impact of of our client's project in Mozambique. I've also been busy with holiday jewelry orders, which makes me very happy.

My plan for the next few days is to make some jewelry for myself, clean and organize my studio/office, read a book, do some gardening and in general just try to de-stress. The last two weeks of school really did a number on me, and I'm aware that I need to pamper myself a bit in order to be ready for the next semester.

We Have a Winner!

2010-12-07T08:36:00.001-08:00

Thank you to everyone who entered the Alexandra Amaro jewelry giveaway. It was such a delight to read what you all are looking forward to in the holiday season.

Last night Rico did the honors and drew a winner from the bowl of names.

Drumroll, please...

Congratulations, Mary Jane! I've sent you an email and hope to hear from you soon so I can ship out your luxe trade bead earrings.

Holiday Jewelry Giveaway

2010-12-01T16:26:00.000-08:00

Hello lovelies,

To celebrate the holidays, I've decided to gift these luxe trade bead earrings to one lucky reader.

Subtle, unique and with just the right amount of sparkle, these earrings feature a pair of 300-year-old Mozambique Island trade beads flanked by pea green Swarovski pearls and faceted yellow quartz globes. They are connected with sterling silver wire and hang just over 2.5" (6.4cm) including sterling ear wires.

It took me over a year to find a matching pair of these clear trade beads, which were originally made in Bohemia and then brought to Africa to use as currency. Due to dozens of shipwrecks over the centuries, many of these old beads wash up on the shores of Mozambique Island, where they are collected and strung on fishing line by local boys. The strands are full of mismatched beads, and it is very difficult to find (nearly) identical pairs.

Contest Rules:

To enter the giveaway, simply submit a Contact Form on the Alexandra Amaro website and tell me what you are most looking forward to this holiday season.

Everyone who sends me a message using the Contact Form between Dec. 1st-5th will be entered in the drawing. On Dec. 6th, I will have Rico draw the winning name from a hat.

The winner will receive these earrings gift wrapped and in time for Christmas. Yes, I will ship internationally. No, I will not fill your inbox with spam and unwanted junk. You can expect an email newsletter from me quarterly at most.

Happy holidays, and best of luck to all!

The End's in Sight

2010-11-30T10:24:00.000-08:00

The end of the school semester is fast approaching and I'm definitely feeling the crunch. I have so much work to do in the next three weeks that I almost can't think about it, lest I get completely overwhelmed and feel tempted to just give up and go drink wine. Rather, I'm taking things in about 2-day increments, putting out the most urgent fires, and letting the rest go.

I can't wait for December 17th to arrive. I have a massage scheduled to celebrate the end of the semester, and I plan to spend my month of holiday in the most relaxing way possible. I envision lots of time in front of our newly-working fireplace (Rico and his uncle climbed onto the roof with a pole saw to remove a large pine tree branch that was obstructing the chimney); trash tv and movies under a fleece blanket, flanked by cats; a bit of painting and jewelry-making; running (if it's not unbearably cold and rainy); and sleep. Lots of glorious, glorious sleep.

Maria, Lady of the Wax Print

2010-11-25T10:52:00.002-08:00

"Maria, Lady of the Wax Print", acrylic on canvas board, 11x14 inches

After several weeks of painting patterns for my 2D visual dynamics class, we received an assignment to incorporate a portrait of someone who would be the "hero" of our selected pattern. This painting is of a Mozambican artisan and fashion designer named Maria, who I came to be friends with through the fairs at Café com Letras. The portrait is based on a photo of her that I took one day on the veranda of our flat in Maputo.

This was my first ever attempt at painting a person. I wanted Maria to look as if she were being surrounded by this swirling lotus-blossom pattern that I found on a piece of wax print fabric. This painting took about 5 hours to complete, and I am super pleased with the result.

I think it's safe to say I've been bitten by the painting bug. All I can think about these days (other than jewelry) is how much I want to keep painting!

MAPS and Mimosas - Sunday, December 5th at the Polana

2010-11-23T19:38:00.005-08:00

Love animals? In Maputo? Fancy some champagne and a delish brunch?

If yes, then you should definitely attend this great event being organized by my friend Claudia that will benefit MAPS, the Mozambique Animal Protection Society.

When: December 5th

Where: Ballroom of the Polana Hotel

Time: 10:30am - 3:00pm

Price: 2,000 MTN

To secure your place, be sure to RSVP to mapsbrunch@gmail.com by November 28th.

I Am Now Officially a Mac Person

2010-11-12T17:08:00.002-08:00

I did it. Finally.

After months of putting off the transition, I've officially switched from a PC to a Mac. The switch was somewhat forced by school (CCA requires students to have a Mac), but my old computer was definitely giving me signs that it's ready to go towards the light.

In general I'm really happy with the switch, and know that as I become more familiar and proficient with my Mac, I'll only grow happier. However, at the moment I feel a bit frustrated because I don't know how to do everything I want to on the new computer.

The things I'm most excited about? Adobe Bridge, iMovie and just having a chance to start fresh. I am a bit obsessive about the way I organize my digital files and emails, and my system had become somewhat outdated and overloaded on my old PC. It's super nice to be able to recreate my organizational system, especially now that the focus of my professional life has changed from development consulting to being a jewelry artist.

Color Manipulation

2010-11-11T10:11:00.006-08:00

Yesterday in my 2D class I learned how to convert photos from Photoshop into Illustrator and then manipulate the colors. I'm pretty pleased with the result of my experimentation on this photo of my old friend Maria from Maputo, who is a fashion designer.

The purpose of this exercise was to be able to modify and scale up a portrait photo that will be then be painted on canvas, together with a pattern of our choice. I'm not sure exactly how mine will be composed, but I do know that it will be *full* of color.

La Vida Expatica #6: The Place I Once Called Home Yet Never Truly Belonged

2010-11-03T18:13:00.011-07:00

I had lunch with my best friend from high school today. She is due to have her first baby on Tuesday. It was incredibly nice to see her, even if just for a few hours, and the Thai crepes place (how's that for fusion!) we went to in Fremont was divine. I had the peanut chicken crepe and it totally satisfied my craving for spicy comfort food.

M. is my closest friend here in the Bay Area, despite the fact that we haven't really spent a lot of time together since we were 16 (I moved to Brazil to do a student exchange that year, and we subsequently lost touch for nearly a decade). Ironically, life brought both of us to California. She and her husband fled Hurricane Katrina and resettled here. Rico and I, as you know, moved here just over a year ago for his work, to be near my mom, and so I could go to school at CCA.

M. lives over an hour away, but we manage to see each other once every couple of months. I deeply miss having girlfriends nearby, and am reminded of how wonderful that kindred connection can be every time I see M.

Today she asked if I miss living in Mozambique. The answer is yes and no.

Yes a thousand times over to missing our friends, our social life, our global nomad community. The quick bonds formed with people from faraway lands, the dinner parties, the comfort in knowing that you are sharing a common experience. I miss the road trips, the Sunday lunches by the Indian Ocean, the animated discussions about how - and if - development work can really make an impact, about why projects fail, about why we were all there in the first place. Many an existential crisis was sorted out over gin-and-tonics and king prawns.

I have never felt so at home with a group of people in my life. I miss that immensely, the feeling of belonging, of understanding and feeling understood.

I miss many other things, too. The view of the Vila Algarve from our balcony, the tiles crumbling a bit more with each passing day. The streets lined with flowering trees, and the way I started tracking the seasons by what was in bloom: jacarandas, red acacias, yellow acacias. I miss catching bursts of the animated chats had by our building guards, full of whoops and hollers and shrill shrieks of excitement to punctuate the stories being told. I miss Dona Lidia's laugh. Zeca's warmth and reliability. The humility, kindness and hospitality shown by so many Mozambicans. The rich local culture. The mini global melting pot that is Maputo, and increasingly the rest of the country. I miss the pool at Hotel Terminus, site of many a sun-drenched, lazy afternoon, tanning and eating sandes de galinha maionese. I miss the piri-piri, obviously. I could make it at home in the blender, but somehow it's not the same as out of a small communal container on a wobbly restaurant table. I miss the sunrise at 4:30 in the morning in the summer. The nights spent dancing or listening to live music. The markets. I miss bumping into friends nearly everywhere we went. I miss Mozambique because it holds such a special spot in my heart as the place where Rico and I met each other again, fell in love, and started our life together as husband and wife.

Despite all of these wonderful things, there are many I don't miss: the in-your-face poverty, the inefficiency and inescapable bureaucracy, the lack of customer service, witnessing the abuse and exploitation of maids/waiters/workers and realizing that for many well-off Mozambicans that kind of treatment is acceptable, the exploitation of locals by foreigners and foreign companies, the sensation that you were always getting somewhat ripped off because you were white or a foreigner, the often false or tense relationships with the Mozambicans, the finely-tuned hate of "the stare" - an empty-eyed look accompanied by silence that became par for the course in many interactions...the frustration that the Moz experience wasn't what I'd expected - that in many aspects I'd become the typical expat I so swore I'd never be, the sad realization that I, too, looked at people in "local" vs. "expat" categories, that I was overflowing with cynicism, that I continued to do a job I didn't believe in for way too long - one of the motivations being a fat paycheck (the same fat paycheck to international consultants that was so often the topic of our rants on what was wrong with the development sector), the hypocrisy - my own and that of others...the ever-present shadow of depression...the corruption of government officials and others in positions of power, the fleets of white Mercedes and the massive mansions, the decision to give bribes to police or otherwise grease the wheels of the system - and wondering exactly how fast that particular slope would get too slippery to be controllable...the inability to ever be anonymous or feel truly comfortable living in the country.

Some days I am all the way on the "dying of saudades" end of the spectrum; other days I still feel very cynical and am glad that we left when we did. It is all very gray, even as the passing of time affords me a wiser, more objective perspective through which to view our experiences in Mozambique.

The Procrastinator Rears Its Head

2010-11-02T06:30:00.002-07:00

One thing about being a jewelry/metal arts student is that you can't really procrastinate. There is simply no way to get things done without putting in days - if not weeks - of hard work. Step by step, building on what you've done previously. At least in my semi-beginner state as a metalsmith, I haven't found out how to shortcut...not that I'd even want to, honestly.

That said, I *can* procrastinate in my other classes, primarily those that require essays to be written. I have a paper due in a few hours for my 4D class and just started writing last night. I have to finish it now, chop chop. I'm writing about the film "Black Orpheus" (1959) and how, while visually, musically and culturally fantastic, it creates and reinforces stereotypes about Brazil and Brazilians in popular media. Fun stuff.

We had total freedom in choosing the piece of media to review for this paper. We were also allowed to write whatever we wanted regarding said work - no guidelines whatsoever, other than "write an analytical paper". I find it funny that in every such instance, I go right back to the content of my first Bachelor's degree (Latin American Studies). Why reinvent the wheel, right?

I think at the very least I should get an A for efficiency: I chose topics in record time, don't have to do that much research because I'm already familiar with the subject matter, and my effort-to-results ratio is off the chart. :)

Now back to writing about Orfeu...

Boutique Love

2010-10-30T22:19:00.004-07:00

Chalcedony, amethyst, swarovski coral pearl and sterling silver necklace. There are matching earrings, but blogger doesn't seem to want me to upload the photo...

Today was somewhat of a milestone in my jewelry career, albeit a quiet one. I made my first wholesale sale* to a lovely shop near Casa Cali that has a very global, high-end import vibe. The owner selected a few pieces from my Imaginarium collection and placed an order for a necklace and matching earrings from my line of floral chain-maille jewelry.

Hopefully this is the first of many such sales. :)

* Wholesale, as in an outright purchase of my jewelry for resale in the shop (as opposed to consignment, where you receive a percentage of the sale when (if) the piece sells). I'm not doing wholesale, as in mass production.

Braving the Elements

2010-10-24T12:33:00.002-07:00

Last night Rico and I joined our neighbors at the Bridge School benefit concert. The weather wasn't the best, but we got out the rain gear and blankets and made the most of the evening.

Since school rules my life these days, Rico and I decided to head home early because I needed to do some paint mixing exercises and study for my art history midterm. We missed Pearl Jam, which I'm gutted about, but were able to see some great artists including Neil Young, Lucinda Williams and Jackson Browne.

Pattern Inspiration - African Wax Prints

2010-10-21T10:36:00.002-07:00

I am so in love with these fabric designs. Such fantastic colors and patterns. I could look at them on google images for hours.

Part of me wishes I'd bought more capulanas while in Mozambique. I am particularly regretful that I didn't buy multiples of this gorgeous blue, green and brown bird print fabric. I keep hoping I'll find it for sale somewhere online, but no luck thus far.

More Sketchbook Art

2010-10-12T06:48:00.003-07:00

"Germs", sumi ink, 11x14

"Brush Palm", gouache, 14x22 (this has some lovely metallic paint, but you can't really see it in the photo)

"Pattern Study #5", oil pastel, 11x14 (inspired by some of Cartier's jewelry where amethyst, turquoise and yellow gold are combined in fabulous gem-encrusted bib necklaces and cocktail rings)

"Tropicalia", watercolor, 11x14

Work Work Work

2010-10-11T15:34:00.002-07:00

School is proving to be almost mercilessly intense this semester. I am a diligent student and good at time management, and even so I'm barely keeping my head above water. I can't remember the last weekday when I woke up after 6am, and I can't remember the last weekend when I didn't have to work during what otherwise would be rest or play time. Most days I feel like I've barely got it together...way too much work, very high expectations, never enough time.

Part of me delights in this insane rhythm - I feel like I'm on my own personal Project Runway much of the time - and after all, this is really why I decided to go to art school. I'd never push myself this hard if there weren't an academic structure, peer critiques, and the pride of presenting my work driving me. I'd work hard on my own, but not to the point of exhaustion day after day. I've surpassed even my own expectations of how much I'd learn and what I'd accomplish thus far.

That said, something's got to give. Periods of intense, sleepless work can push your boundaries but they can also push you over the edge. There is no room for creativity when stress levels blow through the roof. I'm aware of this, and have made some decisions to avoid a breakdown.

My art history class and 4D class (essentially digital media) are not priorities. I am content to put in a B-effort in those subjects. The time I'd have to dedicate to get an A is much more valuable used in other ways - in the jewelry studio, working on my own designs, doing assignments for my 2D class (color transitions - I am obsessed!) and doing practical and enjoyable things like sleeping, cooking, relaxing and hanging out with Rico.

I've never in my entire life knowingly put in a B-effort. I got a B in Finance back when I was in business school, but I studied my ass off for that grade. It was the only B I've ever received, and I remember feeling equal parts ashamed and relieved. Now I'm happy to get a B in the classes I don't "care about", whereas previously the thought of a GPA that was anything but perfect would give me great anxiety. Priorities change, I suppose.

Mandala Patterns

2010-10-01T13:11:00.004-07:00

Pattern Study #4, colored marker, 11x14

I love doing these pattern studies with colored marker. They are completely intuitive, meaning I don't start out with a plan of what I'm going to draw. Rather I begin with one shape, then another one, then add another layer and so forth. The pattern grows organically, and it's always amazing to see what the end result looks like. Each of these drawings takes several hours, and the process is quite meditative. I get into this trance-like state and forget to eat, drink or pee if I'm not careful!

This particular pattern was inspired by the Cartier and America exhibit that I visited a few months ago at the Legion of Honor Museum. I bought a gorgeous book that shows all of the jewelry that was in the exhibition, and I was definitely thinking of the art deco style and the obsession with the "exotic" that are so typical of some of the Cartier designs.

With each pattern that I complete, I can't help but dream of being a fabric designer. I would so love a skirt with this motif!

Hue Studies

2010-09-26T15:42:00.003-07:00

My 2D Visual Studies class at CCA is focused on color, which is thrilling to me. I'm thankful to be slightly obsessed with the subject matter because we have a TON OF WORK in this class, and being excited about color helps the 10-18 hours of homework per week go down a bit smoother.

One of our standing assignments is to fill 8 pages in our 11x14 sketchbook each week. I'm doing a lot of pattern studies, which are fun. I'm also working on a series of hue collages, reminiscent of the color posts I did here on the blog some time back.

Here are a couple of examples:

One Year

2010-09-22T13:08:00.007-07:00

A year ago today, Rico and I left Mozambique after having lived there for 5.5 and 4.5 years respectively. It hardly seems possible. That memorable last day feels at once decades away, and yet as fresh and palpable as last week.

I am having a moment of nostalgia as I remember our time in Maputo, in particular. We were part of such a wonderful social group, and it saddens me to think that these people are in our past, that we will never be together again. Most of our closest friends have already moved on from Mozambique, on to new contracts and new lives, be it at "home" or in a different country, a different adventure.

I reminisce fondly, and with massive saudades, about all of the house parties, the road trips, the late afternoon coffees and weekend sundowners. In particular I miss my fabulous girlfriends: Jenny, Kelly, Helen, Zahra, Anel, Lindsey, Claudia, Evy...the list goes on.

I always used to think it was hard to make friends in Mozambique, and in all fairness it really was. People always coming and going, tricky relationships between expats and locals, cliques determined by country of origin and/or place of work. However once you managed to establish a friendship, you could be sure long-lasting bonds would be formed in record time.

Making friends here in the Bay Area has been slow-going, and in some ways even more difficult than in Maputo. We've established really nice relationships with our neighbors - most of whom are in their 40s and 50s - but it's been challenging to make friends our own age. Much of the time I feel like a fish out of water when it comes to being social, in particular with "peers". I have some friends from my high school days in New Mexico, but for the most part they live at least an hour away and I see them very infrequently.

When it comes to friendships, I am definitely of the "quality over quantity" philosophy, and am content to primarily hang out with Rico, my mom and our neighbors. However, there is part of me that aches to have girlfriends again, ones who live in the same city and who I can call up to have a spur-of-the-moment drink, or invite to dinner full well knowing that the house is a mess and we are eating leftovers, just because the pleasure of their company is so desired.

I remind myself that it took a good 2 years for me to feel like I had friends in Mozambique. I'm sure that at some point I'll look back on this post and find it hard to remember what it was like *not* to have a close girlfriend or two near Casa Cali. But today, on this anniversary of a great change in our lives, I find myself wishing that I could turn back time and spend just one evening with my friends in Maputo.

A Summary of My Life These Days...

2010-09-18T23:48:00.003-07:00

Lots and lots and LOTS of time spent in the jewelry studio.

Repetition and Pattern

2010-09-12T11:16:00.002-07:00

Repetition and pattern sketch #1 for my 2D visual dynamics class. Colored pen on paper, 11x14.

School is going to be quite the intense ride this semester. I've only had one week of classes, and already I have more homework and studio work than I'd ever imagined. I've had so much to do, in fact, that I've been waking up before 6am every day and working well into the night. Good thing I don't have much of a social life because, if I did, this semester would pretty much be the end of it.

In my 2D class, the teacher flat-out told us that we'd work harder for her class than for just about any other core class (core classes are the basic curriculum that all students at CCA are required to take). She said to anticipate at least 18 hours of work outside the classroom each week, and thus far has made good on that promise.

We've also had to choose a theme for the class. The theme can be anything - cats, skateboarding, black-and-white photography, heaven vs. hell, talking to strangers - but it must be something we are passionate about, as all of the work we'll do in the 2D class will be about this theme. Mine is Repetition and Pattern. Each week we have to fill 8 pages in our sketchbook with some interpretation of our theme. It's a lot more work than it seems. So far I've done 2 pages and spent about 4 hours. At least it's fun work!

In my jewelry class we're working on an assignment where we have to design a thimble inspired by a famous person (dead or alive, fictional or real). The thimble can be more than just a "finger cap", and we've been encouraged to get a bit crazy and creative with what the thimble can be. In essence, we're creating jewelry for the hand. The thimble then has to be housed in some sort of display when not in use, which we also have to make by hand. Finally we have to present the project with a research paper about the famous person who the thimble is for, as well as a discussion about the concept behind our piece.

I'm feeling a bit intimidated about getting back behind the torch. I didn't solder all summer long, and now working with metals seems like such a giant undertaking compared to beading and wire-work. My jewelry class is also full of more advanced students, so I'm feeling the pressure to come up with top-notch projects that have solid craftsmanship. I know the worst part is the anticipation, so tomorrow I'm just going to dive into the project and hope that I haven't lost my skills.

Second Semester

2010-09-06T21:41:00.002-07:00

School starts tomorrow. I love the first day of school - the anticipation, the slight nervousness, the sense that great things wait just around the corner.

When I was younger, the first day of school was all about the social scene. Who would be in your classes, what people would be wearing, who would have gained or lost 20 pounds over the summer. Now (thankfully!) school is truly all about the learning for me. I'm looking forward to learning lots of new metals skills, to broadening my creative horizons, to pushing myself to heights I never imagined possible. I get really competitive in school, but the truth is it's competition with myself. I know I'm capable of amazing things if I just apply myself, and at this stage in life (and for the amount of tuition I'm paying), I expect nothing but 100% effort.

My classes this semester are:

Modern Art History

4D Visual Studies (basically a digital media class)

2D Visual Studies (the section I chose focuses on color theory!)

Jewelry/Metal Arts 2B

My life is going to run according to a different rhythm come tomorrow, but I'm ready for it. I had a good summer and feel rested and anxious to get back to work. I'm going to need all the mental strength I can get, friends. Not only to get through the workload and subsequent stress, but because I have 8am classes every day.

(One of) my goal(s) for this semester? Stop the snooze button insanity. I'm going to try waking up to music to see if it makes a difference. Wish me luck!

Huge Summer Clearance on Select Alexandra Amaro Jewlery

2010-09-04T10:59:00.012-07:00

Even though the weather is just now starting to heat up at Casa Cali, summer is nearly over and it's time to clear out some of the Krobo Fusion collection to make room for new jewelry.

Get up to 50% off one-of-a-kind jewelry featuring recycled glass beads from Ghana, sourced through Soul of Somanya.

Prices are already marked down, so swing by the Alexandra Amaro website and check out the great deals.

Cosmos Earrings - krobo beads, swarovski pearls and quartz crystal teardrops.

Calypso Necklace & Earrings Set - krobo beads, swarovski coral pearls, freshwater pearls and sterling silver.

Imperatriz Earrings - krobo beads, swarovski pearls and lemon quartz briolettes.

Yanomami Earrings - krobo beads, freshwater pearls and Thai Hill Tribes silver.

Selva Bracelet (dendroba pattern) - krobo beads, swarovski pearls and sterling silver.

Stay tuned for a preview of the Fall 2010 collection. Expect lots of long, chunky necklaces with a retro feel, stacked pearl bracelets, colorful chandelier earrings, and lots of layered chain elements.

On Becoming Dependent

2010-09-01T20:37:00.007-07:00

I start school in less than a week and have been valiantly trying to make these last few days really feel like vacation. In part, I've succeeded. I've slept in, gone running along the water's edge, had bbq's in the backyard with Rico, suntanned, drank beer, read the entire September edition of Vogue, and watched plenty of trash on tv.

However, in between the sun and exercise and celebrity gossip, I've also been working exceptionally hard. I've been preparing tons of new jewelry for a trunk show at a local boutique, and am trying to get my online inventory up in preparation for the holidays. I also did a record number of translations in August and, despite having sworn to myself that I'd take a vacation, just accepted two new assignments yesterday.

Even though Rico has a stable income these days, it's really hard for me to snap out of "freelancer mode". When you are a self-employed consultant, you never know when your next job will appear, or when your clients will get around to paying you for assignments you've already completed. It's a cash flow nightmare, and Rico and I became very good at dealing with the unpredictability. The key? Accept (nearly) every job that comes your way, even if it means you are triple-booked and working 90 hours a week. You never know, you may have to rely on that income for the next four months.

And thus, even though my husband now gets a regular paycheck that covers our living expenses, I still feel compelled to take on work even though I'm supposed to be on vacation or am super busy with school. Part of it is residual consultant mindset, but part is also a matter of pride. For the first time in my life (well, for the first time since I started college and was weaned off the parental financial teat) I am dependent on another person to pay my bills, put me through school, buy my clothes, cover the mortgage, pay for trips and entertainment, etc.

When Rico and I were in the throes of financial uncertainty back in Mozambique - in the good old days when we were just starting to work as consultants, trying to establish a reputation for ourselves, living off $800 a month - I always thought that having someone else take care of your cash flow worries must be the best thing in the world. Certainly, I am blessed that Rico has a great job, and that our situation allows me the luxury of going to art school and following my dream of being a full-time jewelry artist. However, it's been surprisingly difficult for me to accept that I am now financially dependent on Rico and - to make matters worse - not only am I not bringing in a big income, I'm also running up expenses right and left thanks to the astronomical tuition at CCA.

I don't think I ever realized how much of my identity was caught up in being a breadwinner, being financially INdependent, earning a salary that somehow validated my worth as a professional and as a person. It's been hard to admit, and even harder to let go. Even though I'm happier than I've ever been, and wouldn't want to go back to consulting unless truly necessary, part of me still feels like a "failure" because I'm not bringing in an income.

It's a very strange feeling because intellectually, I know this is ridiculous. That my happiness and well-being are worth much more than any silly salary I walked away from. I feel that $100 earned creating and selling a piece of jewelry is much, much sweeter than $10,000 earned doing some bullshit consulting assignment. However, there is part of me - a stubborn, superficial, distorted-feminist part - that feels ashamed to be dependent on someone else.

Rico has been super understanding of my internal struggle, and keeps trying to get the message through my thick head that his salary is OUR money. He reminds me of the times in our past - when he was studying, or sorting out the logistics of our wedding, or taking care of the bureaucracy of buying our house - when his income was zilch and I was bringing in the big bucks. He asks whether I thought about the money I earned during those periods as our money. Of course it was OUR money. "But that was different," I protest. Rico will then look at me with a raised eyebrow and as me how, exactly, it was different. Of course I have no good answer, and we laugh together at my stubbornness.

With each day that passes, it becomes a little easier to accept that I am lucky enough to be in this situation, that I am deserving of the support of my family and that there is no shame in giving up my income in order to pursue my dream. Now if I could only have the gumption to turn away the next translating assignment...

Riots in Maputo

2010-09-01T13:16:00.002-07:00

"Six people, including two children, are reported to have been killed during riots in Mozambique's capital, Maputo, over rising food and fuel prices."

Apparently the local population, tired of increases in the price of bread, petrol, water and electricity, took to the streets in a protest that was organized primarily by cell phone. Unfortunately violence erupted, and people who I've spoken with in Maputo today say the situation is still quite chaotic. There are reports of tires burning in the streets, cars being stoned and vandalized, barricades blocking the circulation of vehicles, and even reports of the police firing live rounds into crowds (although supposedly the police only use rubber bullets). Most people are just staying home, hunkering down until the violence draws to an end.

The news today gave me flashbacks to the riots of 2008, which I experienced first-hand and wrote about extensively here and here.

The main problem, as I see it, is that there is no real solution in sight. Prices will continue to increase, salaries will continue to be miserably low, and the root causes of the social and economic inequalities in Mozambique will persist. While I don't condone the violence, I can definitely see how the poor reach a breaking point when their lives are so unimaginably hard, and yet they constantly witness others (i.e. the fat cats associated with the Government and those who thrive on corrupt business practices) driving their luxury cars, living in their 15-room mansions, and acting like they rule the world. Something fundamental has got to give...until then, expect more headlines like today's coming out of Mozambique.

New Music Obsession

2010-08-27T11:24:00.004-07:00

This incredible song came up last night on my Nneka station on Pandora. I am officially in love with Jazmine Sullivan. Divine voice, great beat, inspiring lyrics and - always a plus in my book - lots of piano. Check it out:

Caliente Casa Cali

2010-08-24T19:49:00.005-07:00

Today, after nearly a year of worrying that I'd permanently said goodbye to real summer weather, the winds changed and some seriously scorching weather arrived here at Casa Cali. Our window thermometers registered 96F (shade) and 136F (sun), and the cats spent the entire day sprawled belly-up on the floor. We've opened all the windows, popped the tops on a couple of Heinekens, and brought the portable fan out of storage. Even so I'm sweating as I type...and loving every minute!

I am a hot weather girl at heart, and was somewhat saddened at the thought that I'd never be able to use half of my wardrobe again given the cool, foggy tendencies in the Bay Area. While I find it somewhat odd that the hottest days here come in September and October, I welcome the heat and look forward to swimming at The Plunge, the awesome pool that just re-opened around the corner from our house.

While I didn't take any photos of what summer at Casa Cali looks like, here's an image that can give you an idea of what we felt today:

Don't you just love Rico's expression in this photo? Total, unabashed satisfaction. This was taken in Vietnam on our honeymoon back in July 2008. We were touring the Reunification Palace, formerly South Vietnam's presidential palace, which has been left exactly as it was the day before Saigon fell to the North (i.e. a total flashback to the Sixties). Why we chose the hottest, most humid place on earth to visit for a romantic getaway is beyond me, but we had a fabulous time nonetheless. We just sweat buckets the entire time and desperately sought out air conditioning.

I'm off to enjoy another beer and figure out something suitably light and refreshing to eat for dinner. Here's to the heat, friends. I have just under 3 weeks before school starts, and if the weather continues like this, perhaps it will finally feel like I've had a proper summer vacation.

Volunteering in Mozambique

2010-08-23T10:31:00.006-07:00

Lovely readers with experience in Mozambique, can you help me out?

I often get emails from people asking about places to volunteer in Maputo and other locations in the country. I have a few recommendations based on my own experience, but I imagine that with your input we can create a list of volunteer opportunities that is much more complete.

Have you had an experience volunteering in Mozambique? With what organization? Would you recommend it to others? Were there any prerequisites (language, specific skills, etc.)? How did you find about the opportunity?

Here's my recommendation for people who want to volunteer: get involved with MAPS, the Mozambique Animal Protection Society. Visit their website for more information about how they are helping stop animal cruelty in Mozambique and how you can help.

I look forward to seeing your recommendations in the comments!

Free Shipping!

2010-08-17T18:03:00.003-07:00

Southwest Treasure Necklace - turquoise, coral, lapis lazuli, carnelian, angelite, horn and Thai Hill Tribes silver

I am offering FREE SHIPPING through Aug. 31st on all Alexandra Amaro jewelry, anywhere your global heart desires. Just select the Free Shipping option at checkout, no promotion code necessary. Shop new Summer 2010 pieces now at http://www.alexandraamaro.com/.

Fans of Nature

2010-08-17T14:45:00.006-07:00

Isn´t this palm frond incredible? Click on it to get the full, zoomed-in effect - totally worth it. Just look at those subtle colors and angles. Something about the way the ´leaves´ overlap reminds me of the designs made by the wind as it races over sand dunes.

I find constant inspiration for art in the forms found in plants, flowers and shells. My mind is now racing with possible jewelry designs thanks to this gorgeous, geometric plant outside my father-in-law´s house in Angra dos Reis, Brazil.